Siobhan and Sheila

Submitted by Lana(USA) (United States), Oct 3, 2018 at 19:22

10/03/18

Response to Siobhan and Sheila

Thank you ,Ladies!

It was not an easy journey for me,but coming out of that emotional storm -I am completely different person,who will not let absolutely no one to disrespect me or run me over,no matter what!

My so-called relationship was only a few month long so I was a bit more lucky to not to have severe damage done ....unlike some ladies in this forum.

I have absolutely no feelings for him as if he is a bypasser or a stranger .He is nobody to me!

As soon as I closed the door behind me and made that first step out of his place and into beautiful sunny and snowy January day,I haven't looked back a single second!That was the end of it!
I left with a sad smile on my face,looking at him with a pity that he ruined it,but I did not say a word,not even a good bye kiss.... I just made that step into a white January day.

It is after I left,I let my tears burst out....

I survived...
My heart no longer jumps when I hear his name,when I can care less of where or with whom he is....

The fog of cognitive dissonance he put me in ,so that it was easier for him to manipulate my emotions,fell off and I was finally able to see him for who he is.
I was doing a lot of reading and writing in my journal so that my thoughts will not circle around in my head in a vicious cycle of despair.

It was not love but adrenaline rush ,unexplainable and completely wrong infatuation,until I realized that he did not care about me as a person.All he cared about is to meet his needs and wants.

And when it felt like I fell down and hit the bottom-it was only one way out of it and it was the way -UP!

I am glad that after that storm I am much stronger and less naive,and most importantly-I can help the others!

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