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Deceived and Hurt Badly

Reader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men
in response to reader comment: Why do they have to be so cold

Submitted by A Woman Deceived, Feb 10, 2018 at 22:25

Egyptian men can be charming and very deceptive. I married one 17 years ago and was so caught up in the attention. The attention that I had never received from a man in the U.S. He caught me at a time when I was lonely and in need of love and tenderness. He played on that and I became caught up. He said he was different not like the others. When he gets married it will be for real, he wanted real love. So did I and before I knew it he was proposing. A red flag for me should have been how fast he came on to me, how fast he claimed to have fallen in love with me, but I ignored the signs. I was falling in love and I was falling in love hard. My heart was so filled that I could not and would not let myself believe that it could be false. He pressured me into having sex early on in our relationship before I really was ready. My body was ready but my heart wasn't meaning I longed for intimacy and his touch. I did it against my better judgment and felt violated afterward but also ignored that too because the sweet words and attention drowned that out. Another red flag for me that I ignored ( and I will never forget it) was that after the sex I had fallen asleep, and when I woke up he was laying beside me. When I opened my eyes he was laying there staring at me but when I looked back at him I had the most terrifying feeling. It was as if I was staring into the face of the devil. I am not kidding. I was terrified, but remained calm. I did not recognize him at first. Again, I ignored it. Fast forward, six months later we are married in secret because I could not have the wedding I had always dreamed about because he was a (Egyptian) Muslim and did not go to church. So I agreed and married in a courthouse ashamed to tell my family so I just did it because I was in love. Little did I know that he did not love me the same if at all. You see he mirrored my emotions, they will become like you to fool you and become just like you. They will be your best friend, they will like what you like, they are affectionate, tender, romantic, very attentive to your needs, amazing in bed, and caring. Until they hook you. Once you are hooked (married) it's game over. They change almost overnight. I was no longer a love interest but a possession. I was cursed out, demeaned, reticuled for my faith( Christianity), lies to, cheated on and even punched and spit on. Me in my warped mind kept making excuses for his behavior. Thinking that things would change and blaming it on stress, and his being overworked. I believed that my faith in God and my love for him would change him. This is not true and they cannot be changed. The Bible tells us that 'what God has brought together, no man can put asunder' well God did not bring us together. I did when I accepted his proposal. God will NOT go against his word. His word says ' Do not be yoked together with unbelievers'. I went against his word and know am bearing the consequences for my decision. All those wasted years and torment have been unbearable at times. I have been choked, persecuted for my faith, punched in the face, spit it my face, spit on, out out of the house, left on the side of the road, raped, and the list goes on. He has finally left me, by God's grace. I prayed for God to remove him from my life and he did but I had to go through this to learn. god is faithful, he will not leave you even if you leave him out in your decision making. He saw that I had had enough and had learned my lesson and he let me out. It hurts but I am safe. I think it hurts more because of the many waisted years and now realizing that it was never real. I was deceived and you can an will be deceived too. You see he was handsome, beautiful, charming, tall, said all the right things to open my heart, and very manipulative. Remember, the devil was beautiful too, manipulative, charming, all of the above. So don't let yourself be tempted. I know I will heal, I am healing, and I am still hurting, but I won't look back. I won't take him back even if he makes an attempt. After he left, God has revealed so much that I didn't know or that I may have suspected but ignored. I found out about all at least 3 FB accounts that he has, instagram, dating websites, whatsapp, money that he had been hiding when we had hard times, women that he had been dating behind my back and taking to nice restaurants while I am sitting home thinking he is at work. He would never introduce me to his friends, I never met them or his family. Only talked to them on the phone, they probably were in on it. They have nothing to do with me know because of the smear campaign he did against me after he left. Hindsight is 20/20, upon reflecting back I realized that he never did anything for me after we were married. I did everything. I paid the bills most of them,I took care of the house because he would never do anything to help with repairs, I never received any comfort when I was upset or sick or in dispair. I never had him take care of me when my car broke down or needed repair. It was always me. He never had any money or so he said when things needed to get done, but he had money for other women. He never cared about birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, valentines or if he did the gift was something he grabbed from the gas station on the way home. A cheap card nothing meaningful. He was never my hero, my friend, or my soulmate. I'm learning now to LOVE ME. With God's help, I will overcome this shame that I have brought upon myself. I'm free. I hope that this helps someone. Please believe me when I tell you that they are predators and mean you know good. Guard your hearts.

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