Do These Men Fall in Love?

Submitted by Foolish, Sep 11, 2017 at 14:34

I met a Lebanese Muslim the same age as me late last year. He was very handsome and charming and had been in the US for a couple of years. For three months, we hung out as friends before we had our first solo date.

As an American, I expected kissing and fooling around after the date. He came back to my apartment and explained to me that he was engaged to marry an 18 year old girl back home that he met before he came to the US. He had three chaperoned "dates" with her at her home before this engagement. We both agreed that even though we had feelings for each other, it would be better to only be friends. We've stayed in touch almost daily and we see each other for dinner or a movie or picnic at least every two weeks. He always pays for everything, and we always have fun together, laughing and joking around. I'm not going to lie, we have kissed and seen each other naked, but no sex whatsoever. Sometimes, we sleep in the bed together, and he holds me all night long. I feel very passionately in love with him, and he claims to feel the same for me, although he must marry his fiance.

His family did not want him to travel home for a wedding during all of the chaos with the Trump travel ban, but in November, he will leave to be with her. We will have been seeing each other for eleven months at that point. I know I'm a fool who shouldn't be upset because I've known this would happen for a long time (although I silently hoped he would choose me.) I guess all of the posts on this site have made me feel like maybe he never loved me and that he was incapable of love. Even though I am going to be heartbroken when he leaves no matter what, I think that feeling I meant nothing to him makes it so much worse.

Has anyone had an experience like this? Any advice on how to recover? It's not like a typical break-up where I can yell at him, cry, and talk trash about him to my friends while stalking him on Facebook. My friends don't know that he's engaged to another woman, and I imagine I'll be completely cut out of his life (blocked on Facebook, Whatsapp, etc) when he marries.

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