Ruth: PLEASE listen, and not just to me

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Jun 21, 2017 at 22:34

Hi Ruth:

First, I want you to know I understand what you are feeling. But here are the things YOU MUST know:

1) People do not happen to come on here and certainly do not post on here by chance. Something compelled you to search for this information on-line and that means whatever you information you are looking for, you are not getting from him. But to be fair to yourself, you shouldn't expect that information from him because nature of your relationship is on-line.

2) If the 'relationship' with him was so strong and powerful, what is said on here should have no bearing on how you look at it. But as I stated in point (1), you cannot be expected to trust someone you've been talking to on-line no matter how long. And this is not new---people used to do stuff like this by snail mail, newspaper ads and phone.

You say know you have been talking for years now, yet just by reading a few stories on here it has either fundamentally caused you to question what is going on or brought to the surface what you probably had been feeling to some degree. And no one could possibly blame you for feeling that way, Ruth.

3) It's not just the bad perception, Ruth. The women on here have experienced it all first hand.

4) As far as being scared goes------it's not a fun feeling, Ruth. But the reality is people in these situations SHOULD be scared. It's a natural and healthy reaction because the real love and the real trust isn't there. And it's not fair to you to expect it to be.

5) As far as reading "positive" stories-----a lot of women over the years have thought they'd have some thing positive only for it to come crashing down. Also, I think we both know, Ruth, most of what you have read is negative or you wouldn't be so scared. And that's to be expected because people who are in good, solid relationships do NOT need internet or any kind of anonymous third party support. One really does wonder if the stories are so great why they are busy talking about them on-line instead of enjoying them.

6) As far as this cousin goes, you are basing your relationship on what has happened with someone else-----assuming of course that it actually DID happen or happen that way. People who are in good, solid relationships do not need to compare what they have to other relationships as a crutch of sorts. This is squarely about you and him.

Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".