For InTooDeep

Submitted by Concerned, May 23, 2017 at 09:35

Yes. Every person has good traits and bad traits. Even this man you love.

However, the behavior you are describing is highly, extremely abusive. The abuse far outweighs the good things he has done.

The question in my mind isn't "Will this man change" or "Does this man love you". The real question in my mind is "Why is this woman tolerating this extreme abuse and degradation?"

You believe that you deserve to be treated this way, but you are wrong. You are wrong, InTooDeep. You do NOT deserve to be humiliated, abused, controlled, insulted, or manipulated. You don't deserve it, and you shouldn't allow it or accept it. No one should be treated this way. The way he's been treating you isn't love. He doesn't love you.

This man has shown you who he is. The only way he will change is to get even worse. And if you move with him to his country, he will be free to do anything he wants to you. And he will.

Here is my very best advice to you:

1. Do not go with him. If you have to pretend the VISA didn't work out for some reason or another, then make up a story. But don't go with him.

2. Sign yourself up with a counselor or therapist that specializes in domestic abuse issues.

3. Join a group that supports domestic abuse victims.

4. Involve the police in this if you feel like you are in danger.

InTooDeep, I hope you follow my advice. You deserve so much better, but only you can decide to choose better for yourself.

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