To Sheila & D Pipes

Submitted by Hope (United Kingdom), May 9, 2017 at 11:05

I think some people are vulnerable when they are approached by these people but is not everyone vulnerable when they put themselves in a position when they start any relationship / fall in love?! I do not think I was vulnerable but if you asked some individuals maybe they think I was.

I know one of my friends after my saga said she would never get involved with someone who could not freely be in our country! At the end of the day we have to stop beating ourselves up - some people will say we were vulnerable / stupid etc but all we did was fall in love with someone who we thought was real, genuine etc. These people who abuse us in such a way seriously have a problem and we know that we would never do that to another human being. It is not us, it is them! But they do not care, it is ingrained in them, they are out for themselves and their family, they are not free as we are and we just have to feel sorry for them - would you want to be them or be associated anymore with them or their families who have all been in on it? No way! And do they know what real love is?

I have said so many times I really do not know how they live with themselves. That is why we have to eventually dust ourselves down, stand tall, look in the mirror and know we are decent people - but before that we have to suffer the awful heartbreak, disbelief, deceit, betrayal etc. They must not destroy us and they won't. They do not have souls - that is a fact. Do not feel foolish Sheila, you have been through enough as many of us have. None of us will trust again as we did and that may be a good thing even if a little sad. You have been and are strong as I believe I am and if you find strength in religion good for you, everything helps. It will be 3 years this year that my ex husband left and I still think of it every day, it is a long haul back and recovery takes time. I wish I could wake up and not think of it all and maybe one day I will but I thank God now that he has gone. I am much happier and know I could not have lived with this person long term - they are just not like us at all. I do not mourn the loss of him at all now, I have no feelings, he is a stranger and was one in our so called relationship / marriage because he wasn't really here but it makes me sick with what he put me through.

We have to accept the fact that it was fraud, an illusion and they did not love us.

People reading comments on this site really need to heed words from the individuals that have actually experienced these situations because they are the only ones that truly know. Support from friends and family is obviously good but they do not actually understand what we are going / have gone through. We have survived and we are still living - we are lucky! Stay strong sweet lady, you are not alone.

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