Time of vulnerability

Submitted by Lana(USA), May 8, 2017 at 11:26

Hello Everyone

I agree with Sheila!

I just thought of that ,should we got those men in our life ,when we were emotionally solid and self sufficient persons,we would clearly see where it all could lead.
Being unhappy with current life or having something drastic and devastating happened to us (divorce,death of a family member,depression,heartbreak,etc.) that makes us more vulnerable and desperate to seek someone to hold on to,even before that person took time to earn our trust, led to unhealthy and dependent relationship with someone,on whom we decided to pour our unspoken love we carried for doling,and tenderness that we wanted to give to,but they do not feel that way at all.They just decided"Why not? I do not have to put any effort to make her to appreciate and like me.And that was easy -to get her!Words do not cost anything. Besides -she already likes me,so let's have fun!"

Also -we were projecting our hopes and dreams to that person that seemed so right for that moment,so understanding(only to make you to jump into conclusion that he is Mr.Right,in order to meet their needs,not ours,to have what they want from you ,while telling you what you want to hear)We expected that person to act and behave the way they not even remotely know how,or willing to.

Most men we met(I mean ladies from the forum with MENA men),are irresponsible and immature.They want to have fun and not to take a responsibility for anything else that comes with a relationship.
And why so,if they can have everything they want from us,with no effort,just because of their cuteness.
They do not promise anything-it is just us .We do not want to accept the reality and -tend to believe that they may change over time to be what we expect them to be.Another big illusion that leads to a heartbreak.
And they are"smooth operators"(Sade's song) on this,using our illusions and needs against us,but to their advantage.

Stay strong,ladies and let someone to fall in love with you first,someone who will truly care about your emotions your needs and will be caring and nice to you,proving this with their actions and not a sweet talk,rather than chasing this illusion of love.
Do not give away your heart so easily to someone ,
who can care less about your feelings.

Have a happy and fun Summer,full of new great events and good people around!

And no more sad music or anything that makes us sad!

I chopped off my waist long hair and changed the color too,)he used to like my hair and was running his fingers through it).
I threw away my clothes, I used to wear ,while with him,and everything else that reminds me of him.

I am new "me" now!

I deleted all the ballads from my playlist for now and "locked " all memories deep down below ,until I am ready to revise them with a smile and no bitterness.

Hugs to all.
Lana

Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".