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Focus on self-love, erika...

Reader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men
in response to reader comment: reply to lisa

Submitted by Lisa, May 1, 2017 at 17:14

I was beating myself to death just thinking of how much better off he will be in the future compared to me. The injustice of it all. Don't go there (the thought) because it's self-destructive. I couldn't move forward, couldn't function properly.

I try to think this way now - that everything he has taken from me, I will recover them in time, through my own hard work and by God's grace.

Acceptance is the first step to take. After the rude awakening and shock, try accepting what has happened. Be angry. Be sad. Acknowledge all the feelings and accept them. The process of healing is going to take time and we are going to feel the hurt for a long while. But who can be sure they won't end up worse off than when we first met them? Karma's a bitch.

We do what we can to recover or minimise the financial loss. That is about all we can do now. Ending up alone is still better than being stuck with the wrong person!

Focus on self-love and do what it takes to make yourself feel better. I realise that the less bullshit I hear from him, the better I feel. So contact is close to zero now. I also stop questioning him because who needs to hear anymore lies? It has taken me months to get to where I am today - thanks to the support from this forum - because I was always looking for answers for his behaviour and cruel and abusive treatment. They are heartless, scheming rats. Plain and simple. We do not need more of their answers/explanations/lies etc. to move on with our lives. And no more giving them pleasure by beating ourselves to death or putting ourselves down.

Feel better soon and many hugs.

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