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Chelsea's "searching for the highest bidder"....

Reader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men
in response to reader comment: What brainwashing??

Submitted by Lisa, Apr 25, 2017 at 11:32

I couldn't have found a more appropriate way of putting it.

Most of these rats have NPD. I don't know if brainwashing is the right term. But they listen into the conversations you have with each other to manipulate you.

The irony is that, Jessica who's implied several times how stupid some of us had been to miss the red flags when money was asked and how she would never spend on a man - is now paying her own ticket to go there to see him and trying to justify her actions.

My guess is, he's read into her reactions during their conversations and took a chance to offer to pay for the airticket. Assuming the offer had been taken up, what is that small amount of money compared to what he is planning to scam?

If I have to follow that theory, then my rat was also a gentleman. He repaid me the first 600 Dirhams he had spontaeously borrowed to help a friend we had met on the street - he did not have that much money on him. The first test to see how willing I was to part with my money. He also paid for most of our simple meals during my first week there - to prove he wasn't after my money.Then before I left, he opened himself to me (something he had never done with another woman - LOL!!! Today i know it's flattery because he did the same with another young woman - I have the e-mail she had written him, how touched she had been that he had chosen to confide in her) how stressed he had been cos' he could not pay the utilities bill that his flatmates have chalked up and who have now disappeared. Bear in mind - they never ASK for money directly. These are scammers who know how to manipulate you to part with your money and yet feel good about it cos you are helping someone or investing in your relationship (flying over to see them) or for your future (business projects). Sad facts.

My mistake was believing him that if it had been for the money, he would have stopped all contacts after the first huge sum of money was wired. Fact is: He did not take off because he was expecting more to come his way. He painted things in such a way, even the 2nd huge sum of money was for OUR future. You would not think of scam at that time because you actually see the project taking form - unaware that he already has plans to take over the whole business eventually and discard you like a worthless piece of rag. Your believe in love and your compassionate nature wants to help him start a new life, help his family members who seems to be in all sorts of trouble from losing jobs to illnesses and getting into accidents etc. And oh, how sad his mom was because they could not sacrifice a ram on Eid-Al-Adha. But after you have caught up with their lies lies and more lies and refuse to send money when once again he's in some sort of "deep sh*t" (accidents, sicknesses - pick your choice!) - that's when the mask S-L-O-W-L-Y falls. His disappearances, not answering your texts, cold treatment, adding more women on his social media as friends when all the while he has told you how he would not disrespect his "wife" by doing that - all these will force you to confront him and the fights will begin - marking this the start of the end. You will have no right to question him when he is hardly at home when you go over to visit - not even when your stay is only a couple of weeks. Where once all the happiness he had was hanging around at home doing nothing, he now goes out with his buddies every.single.night - including to clubs to mix around with other tourists who happen to be game for one-night stands while on vacation. When questioned, there will be fights over your lack of trust.

The whole process of scamming is slow but calculated. And one can be quite sure, one is not the only woman he's scamming at that particular time. Like Chelsea had put, he's waiting to pick the highest bidder.

You cannot truly get to know a person online. I have been there every 2 months over a period of almost 2 years. And I only started to see his true character one and a half years later.

I'm happy to read the stories with happy endings here. But it never hurts to read what we have experienced - perhaps as a sort of preventive measure that you are not falling for one of these scams. There is no jealousy, no stereotyping behind these lines - just facts of what we have gone through.

Submitting....

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Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".

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