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Sophie, U must annul this sham marriage ASAP

Reader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men
in response to reader comment: algerian men/husbands

Submitted by Nadia, Mar 14, 2017 at 17:43

Hello Sophie,

Sorry to hear about Your problems and hope all will soon be behind You. Your quick wedding to an Algerian national You hardly know was a HUGE mistake You are just starting to realise. This is a scam many third world counties men use in order to obtain visas, residency permits, money, travel documents, free housing, food and care, sex and other benefits.

First of all, stay calm and composed and tell all Your family, neighbours, collegues and friends about the situation You are in. You will need their help and support very soon.

Why doesn't he tell his family about You? - why would he? You are a temporary nuisance in his life. No more than a tool to obtain some benefits before mooving on. Plus it is quite embarassing to have an older non-Muslim wife. He does not want his family to worry about him living with a grand mother. Algerian men normally only marry younger virgins from their own ethnic, cultural and economic background. In most cases the family chooses the prospective bride. In all cases the family has to approve the bride BEFORE the wedding takes place. In the time of internet there is no reason not to inform the family beforehand other to spare them grief and shame.

Certificate of celibacy - You a not saying how old Your husband is. He may or may not have been married in Algeria. Many Algerians get a formal divorce in order to marry a foreign spouse. If he is Young and not well off chances are he has never been married and it does not matter. He will divorce You when time comes. After the divorce he will live alone for a while, remarry his former Algerian spouse, marry a cousin or another virgin from his own country or a younger woman from Your country. He will not stay with You forever and that's for sure given the huge for any standart age gap. Algerian men have been known to forge certificates in order to marry in France.

Never free to talk to You when at home - it's not a red flag in itself. I do that when I go to my mum. My husband's calls annoy me and he only calls me once a day and sometimes only to talk with the kids. Your husband wants to spend every minute with dear friends he misses when in SA. Why did he go to Algeria alone? DId You want to go with him and he said no? Is it his school holidays. Sorry but I don't know the SA system. I advise You to stop calling him and wait for him to call You. In many societies people do not call each other 20 times a day or even every day.

Getting mad - if he flies in rages now it will only worsen with time, sorry. I think if he really wanted to placate You he could have gotten some of his friends to pretend they are his family. I know of a few cases like that. The fact he is straight about not telling family about You being his wife is odd and shows he doesn't care about You at all. I think he hates You deep down and hates the fact he had to marry You.

Falling in love - YOU fell in love, he didn't and only pretended in order to get You to marry him. They are comedians. What was the reason You married so quickly and without informing the family? Does Your family know? Does Your family like him? Are You pregnant? Do You help him financially? DId he have his own place and did U move in with him or, as I suspect it was the other way round. Does he have a grant? Does he work in SA? By the way, salaries in Algeria are about 200-400 euros a month but life is cheap.

I think it is best to annul the marriage ASAP. Annul not divorce. When You annul a marriage It is like U have never been married. U'll not be responsable for debts he may have made or anything. Divorce comes second best as a solution. You can tell him You r not happy. Be very careful because Algerian males are quite quick tempered and can hurt or kill! You can already stop giving him money, stop buying food and start finding excuses to always go out and about to Your family. I don't know the law in SA but ask around. The best is to move out to a safe place he can't find. But in France this is not very legal. Consult a lawyer and start proceedings! It will spare You lots of grief, money, nerves and time. Stay here for a while and listen to what other ladies who have been married to or have dated and visited this beasts have to say! Good luck Sophie and please, try to stay calm! Many, many SA, Namibian and Botswanian women and men get scammed this way. Your countries are a gold mine for loosers from lower economies.
Greetings

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Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".

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