Broken heart, at least family was decent to abstain from encouragement

Submitted by Nadia, Mar 3, 2017 at 18:00

Hi, How are You? Hope better and better.
The family seems of the usual closed low to low middle class religious and stuck in traditions. In Algeria and most of the world a marriage is a political and economical union between two family with the purpose of reproducing and transmitting culture, tradition and wealth. Love is not part of the equation at all. Those people might not approve of what their sons are doing and will not participate in this sort of scam. And I think it is fair to say they are good and honest people. In Islam and Algerian culture only sluts date, sorry about the derrogatory term. A normal marriagable girl gets marriage proposals and marries. That is it. Usually finding a girl is the mothers task and in every family the mother's choice will be obeyed. In Islam it is said the Paradise is under the mother's feet. Before a man sets eyes on the prospective wife his mother and sisters would have visited the girl's female relatives and spoken to them. They are in many cases, from 20% in North Western Algeria to 80% in the Tebessa area in Eastern Algeria, first cousins. The remaining 80-20% are often second cousins ore more distant relatives of the same tribe, clan, ethnicity, religion and social standing. The girl is always younger, ideally does not interract with males outside the family and is A VIRGIN. Being in a state other than virginal is simply unthinkable. This is what the majority does and of course there are exceptions. They prefer related to them people of same or very similar background.

Conversion solves the religious problem that is, by the way inexistant in Your case, as muslim men can legally marry Christian and Jewish women (but not Hindu, atheists or other). It does not make a girl a suitable wife automatically. Muslim men try to trick women into converting as it brings them rewards to go to paradise. So the more people they convert the better. And this action erases sins.

Think about it! He knew You were American, non-muslim, wore make up, worked, contacted You never the less and pushed You into a relationship he himself does not consider respectfull or possible. You did not know all this but he did. Americans and American way of life are well known all over the world because of Hollywood and English language. Algerian way of life isn't. He very well knew his family stance but chose to continue knowing he hasn't got the means to take You in charge financially. They are always very open and cheerfull and go along with anything at the beginning but slowly start to push The woman to do things for them. Not one is upfront and sincere. And their needs, desires and orders never ever stop.

Many MENA people do not like Americans and Christians. And it's fine. I myself am not crazy about Americans and American life but then I do not contact them, seek them out online, try to befriend them, invite them over or try to get myself invited by them. Do You see the scammer part? They are deceitful and the scam is premeditated. I do not like tatoos on men, so I never befriend a man with tatoos all over him only to tell him to get rid of those and erase them. I find men who suit my taste. Same for his not liking You made up or dolled up. By the way many MENA perfectly respectable women wear heavy make up every day. And tons of Algerians are converting to Christianity, especially in Kabylia.

Love

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