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SERIOUS ADVICE TO BRITISH, EUROPEAN AND AMERICAN WOMEN ABOUT EGYPTIAN MEN

Reader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men

Submitted by EMMA (UK) (United Kingdom), Jan 23, 2017 at 07:50

Hello,

I wanted to warn British, European and American women to be very, very careful. Now that I have healed from this relationship, I am ready to tell my story to save other women the pain I went through.

My motto now is that a man born in the middle east does not mix with a western non-muslim woman due to cultural and religion reasons only. I gave it a shot and it's my sad of my own experience and research that has led me to this conclusion. End of story, but I know you want the story first.

I am a university educated white non-muslim British woman early 30s who got involved with a university educated divorced Egyptian man who's also late 30s. He is a US citizen as his ex wife was American so that's how he got his US citizenship, born an Arab country, but Egyptian parents. He works for a Western company now. We emailed me on a dating site.

It all started out very well (although looking back there were some red flags) and he appeared a gentleman, I eventually fell in love with him and he said he was in love with me too. He was fun, persistent with lots of daily contact, spoke to me so nicely and I just felt we clicked. When we met in person for the first time, we got on really well and I really enjoyed his company at that point. I liked the fact he seemed westernised and his spoken English was superb so I could understand him well. These are just some of the reasons why I progressed with the relationship.

He talked marriage, children, living with me, our future, we saw each in person a few times. All that time I later discovered he was talking to other women too! Yes, even though he talked to me alot he still managed to talk to other women behind my back! He was lieing to my face. Probably telling them the same things. None of his promises materialised. He used a lot of silent treatment on me too, at those times he would be talking to other women and showing me he is the one with the power how dare I ask something of him. During the silent treatments it was to avoid any responsibility to me.

But as time went on after a few months of things being good, things went bad and it went bad from there in with just a few good bits (like 5%). Just the same way as many other women on this site and women I know in real life.

I read this site when things started to go wrong, but I felt he was 'different' because he had married a westerner before, worked for westerners etc etc. I used my logic and limited knowledge to reason with myself. This was naive as now I know so much more and so my blinkers are now off. I wish I'd left for good then when I read this site, before the abuse set in that I've had to spent a lot of time and money on healing from. I'll never allow this abuse and disrespect to happen to me ever again, he was the first and only. I normally date western men only and am going back to that now.

He started to get more angry, have fury, blaming me for his deceitful and unloving behaviour, never took any responsibility, controlling, gaslighting, less romantic, doing things to show me I was no longer secure in the relationship by triangulating me with other women. He was all talk and no action, basically. He just wanted to keep me on the hook with his fake words. He loved the attention I gave him that's all. He had decided he would now just clearly use me until he found a replacement or have many girls to feed his weak big ego.

But all I can say is that once I did the research into the culture and mental illness after a few months as I couldn't work out why it went so bad, I realised and found out he was a pathological liar, as well as an emotional abuser, highly manipulative, he was selfish, fake, probably a narcissist or sociopath, and also he harmed me physically one day, he didn't hit me but what he did physically to me was against my human rights which were violated.

I do not even think he understands why he is the way he is, he needs a lot of help that only he can do as to why his relationships go so bad. He just blames everyone else for his actions.

You think 'oh these men are so western, they had a westerner wife or western girlfriend before, that means that this one is different to all the rest, so it will be ok. They have American and European friends too, so he is different. He pays, he provides, he is generous, he wears western clothes etc. They are treating you nicely and contact you all the time, how can they be cheating?'

No, don't be naive. It's what is inside that matters. And this Egyptian man's insides were middle eastern. Chauvinistic, cruel and abusive. His type of love, is not the real kind of love you will get from your own culture, his love was fear based and I hear alot of Egyptian men are like this, very chaunetic with their actions to try to get you to submit and let them get away with what ever they want!! You will not get respect LONG TERM. This Egyptian man disrespected me and did not cherish me for the majority of knowing him, after the nice honeymoon period was over once he knew 'he had me' (eg. I loved him and would stick around when I first found out he was trying to cheat on me) . Now with all my knowledge, I found out he was talking to many other girls behind my back, probably cheating, trying to find new girls. Terrible and heartbreaking.

I loved this man and he was cruel and emotionally abusive, he blamed me for everything, cheating, pathological lieing. I know not all Egyptian men are sociopaths or narcissists, but I know for a fact mine is or had serious traits of one, and so was my western friends egyptian ex too. Their love is conditional and very much 'do as I say or else' blackmail.

I've been told by middle eastern women and men who are my friends, that is a culture that lies all the time. Now I get what they meant.

I'll never ever go with a middle eastern man ever again whether they are muslim or christian. The difference in culture is just too big. They blame you for everything and are irresponsible and crazy making. I do not know ONE single successful western and middle eastern relationship that lasted and was successful. Not one. They usually end within one year and certainly never lasted more than 6 years except one in one million.

The more you get to know the Egyptian where he knows that he has you, that's when the abuse starts.

If you value your heart, your time, your mental health, your peace, and even your money (as the drama they create takes you away from working hard), then please just stay away.

Submitting....

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