Erika: On "Judging"

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Jan 12, 2017 at 16:10

Hi Erika:

I agree with the spirit of your final point to the extent that some scams last years, and readers need to be aware of that. VISA scammers and liars are patient.

But I would also like to note that we do need to give out tough love on here because otherwise people just do not listen. I've been in several of the situations described on here by women, and my family and friends had to get tough with me. Of course, I thought they were interfering in internal affairs, but later realized they were right---after an expensive learning curve.

None of the advice I have read on here is "judging". Accusations of judging are the first line of defense people use when they are called out for not being in a good situation.

To some extent, we have to be firm because on the other side of the coin are manipulative men (and women) who are constantly using sales pitches and textbook romance techniques long forgotten in the countries where the victims live.

All these women (and an occasional male) have really is this place and maybe one or two other forums. That's really it. This is really is their only chance of getting some semblance of reality. Counselors, therapists, even immigration officials are rather lousy at this sort of thing.

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