69 million page views

You are in control it seems

Reader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men
in response to reader comment: Help with Turkish Boyfriend

Submitted by Shömi (United States), Nov 30, 2016 at 23:50

Dear Amy,

You are young, you are on your ground and it doesn't sound like you in any way dependent on this man. As long as the situation stays that way, I wouldn't think you are in any kind of danger. But I would say... keep it that way ;)

I'm in no way an expert on Turkish men, but once cooperated on a project with a Turkish owned business. These guys were all well financially established, educated, handsome men. Had plenty of ladies' attention and some of them were already engaged to marry. I had a chance to see how they presented themselves in public... and "after hours" within each others. EACH ONE of them led a double life, which included mistresses, addictions and all kinds of shady associations. They were shockingly condescending speaking about their partners, women in general, and - as a matter of fact - everyone else. On the other hand, they seemed quite possessive and checked on their ladies more often than I would ever be able to tolerate. I could not make any sense of their behavior and never figured out which side of them was true.

Perhaps what I described to you is the characteristics of many powerful men. I saw it as some kind of macho requirement that exists in their culture. I'm personally done with Alfa males and no longer up to riddles. My advice for you is to maintain your independence (emotional, financial, formal) until your partner proves reliable on every level. Don't let anyone dictate your pace. I got to state the obvious... unplanned parenthood is the easiest way for women to lose control over future course of events.

I don't know about the dislikes on your post. You sound very rational. We all know these guys can be quite attractive and it doesn't hurt to experiment before you settle. Carefully like I said ;)

Shömi

Submitting....

Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".

Comment on this item

Mark my comment as a response to You are in control it seems by Shömi

Email me if someone replies to my comment

Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".

See recent outstanding comments.

Follow Daniel Pipes

Facebook   Twitter   RSS   Join Mailing List

All materials by Daniel Pipes on this site: © 1968-2021 Daniel Pipes. daniel.pipes@gmail.com and @DanielPipes

Support Daniel Pipes' work with a tax-deductible donation to the Middle East Forum.Daniel J. Pipes

(The MEF is a publicly supported, nonprofit organization under section 501(c)3 of the Internal Revenue Code.

Contributions are tax deductible to the full extent allowed by law. Tax-ID 23-774-9796, approved Apr. 27, 1998.

For more information, view our IRS letter of determination.)