Helping Amy with her Turkish boyfriend

Submitted by Prashant, Nov 29, 2016 at 12:46

Dear Dr Pipes, your Catholic reader Amy needs some help about her Muslim Turkish boyfriend. She asked if Turkish society is secular enough. I suggest she asks herself the following questions and then ask her boyfriend the same questions. If there is enough agreement, she should go ahead. Otherwise she should stop. These questions are not very difficult and easy to come up with. They have been cited many times here and elsewhere:

1. Does it agitate him when you raise these questions? If yes, then there is an issue unless these questions are immaterial for you.

2. Does it matter to you that in Islam a man can marry four women at the same time?

3. Does it matter to you that you may need to convert for the marriage? Is it as likely that he converts to your religion as it is that you convert to his. At the very least, will he see your religion as a good path to God.

4. Can you raise your children in your religion or is it obligatory that your children are raised in his religion.

5. Do democracy and freedom of thought matter to you? What is your and his opinion aboout lack-of-democracy in most of the Islamic world. Separation of church and state?

6. Most modern national constitutions allow equal rights for men and women in inheritance, divorce, right-to-education, and most other legal matters. Does it matter to you that Islam does not necessarily allow this kind of equality?

7. Modern humans now have a very universal view about God and religion. People share each others religious values and respect them. Do Islamic views about other religions mater to you?

These are simple objective questions. How to answer them and think about them is entirely up to you. Depending on what you and your boyfriend approaches them, you should proceed.

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