Give yourself time to heal

Submitted by Lana (United States), Oct 14, 2016 at 21:23

Dear Amy
I know it hurts now...but think that in long run-it is better this way than if you would spend years withthis person and he left you after years of marriage....Ask yourself-do you really want to grow old with this person?Can you trust him enough to spend your life next to him?
This is what I wrote for "my Moroccan guy" who never was mine in a first place...

...Listening to "The power of goodbye" song by Madonna...thinking: asking myself self- would you like to be with that person again, would you accept or be happy with him exactly as he is?

If the answer is "no",then that should stop you from reaching out. We tend to believe in lies, someone tells us, because we want to, or because we fear the truth we may not like to hear.

We care about one another and it really makes closure very difficult giving up someone you love.
It is not easy, it hurts and continued to feel ,it hurts isn't going to do ourselves any good.
I find that man do " live in the moment" they can say the most hurtful, heartfelt, deepest ,soul warming things for women ,and they meant them, but only right then, in that moment.

Then- they have to leave in the future and that moment fixed by manipulative man, who knows how to manipulate, and we can not help but draw the future-based conclusion based statement present in his mind, and availability, or different goals out of it.
We would never know...In a free country ,where all playing out their own choices ,we just don't always realize it it's a big mistake thinking, that he's so superior that he can toy with me,and to take up my time and energy without effort, never willing to better himself. He's very charming and fun, and just what I thought, I wanted ....when we haven't communicated and really he's childish sexy boy... but I can predict that if we ever communicate-that he will be feeding me" I miss you".

"I miss you" he tells me to butter me up, so I can fall back in line so that he can get whatever he wants from me. It works like a charm, because you want them to be true, it is tough, but this really a time just to stand up for myself. I know it is going to hurt like hell to do whatever it takes, to keep him away...

I am trying to mentally brace myself.Reading a book,listening to my favorite love songs is just reminding me that he will always be missed, and we both deserve better than this.

Unless you enjoy texting very very much, and want to build your life around it, then I suggest you quit this completely, stop wondering about (it's just text), and redirect your energies elsewhere.
I'm not saying this just to you, you seem to be on the right path.
This is for all of you LOST IN TEXTLAND. Don't make me come in there and get you.
____________________
I wish you best!Hugs!
He needs to learn his lesson,that no matter how much you like him-you still able to wallk away from paiful relationship.Stay strong!!!

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