Compulsive liar!

Submitted by Rachael (United Kingdom), Aug 29, 2016 at 07:58

I met an Egyptian man whilst on holiday 4 years ago. I am not the type to go looking for love whilst abroad, but it kind of just happened. At the time I did not consider how costly it would be to travel frequently to and from the country, let alone if the relationship was genuine (on his part). I learnt very quickly that long-distance was not going to be easy, however I was determined to make it work. Aware that he was not earning a lot I would pay for accomodation, food, transport and day trips (it was only the first holiday he contributed towards the food bill). What I didn't know at the time, was that the office he went through to rent the apartments, charged very much less than what those booking from England were paying (although I wasn't aware of the varying standards across the resort).

He got wind of this and each time I would pay more than double what I should've been. I thought something was not quite right when he claimed that by only paying half at the beginning would ensure housekeeping did their job properly. Oblivious to what he was up to I later agreed that I would help him to earn a little more money by giving him a sum to enable him to start renting his own shisha cafe (about £3,000 in instalments). Throughout the time, he kept putting the business off as tourism was low. Finally he went ahead, but there were claims that profit was not good. We talked about buying a car to rent out to wealthy businessmen (I was reluctant and didn't pursue).

Back home in England I was really struggling with saving money and it was a huge pressure for me. We both agreed that I would go out there fewer times a year in order to reduce saving time. Communication was good, talking almost everyday. I later found out (by catching the cousin out) that the money I had given him for the business, he had lost... I was not best pleased and that is when I began to question where my money was going. Expensive gifts stopped (although I felt the iphone was a good idea as we could use whatsapp without me having to pay stupid amounts on calling cards). I tried hard to keep hold of my earnings, yet he did have control whenever I was out there.

I know it's trivial, but I will never forget him taking money from me to buy my own birthday cake (which supposedly came out of his wages). I wasn't daft, I would always be checking my money and eventually started keeping receipts. I was becoming more and more frustrated, I never saw myself as the bread winner, but I could not give up on the relationship. Talk of marriage and a family came up, but never transpired. Promises that he'd bring sisters over to see me - that also never happened. I question whether the cousin and Uncle I met and spent time with were really family. It only came to head what I was involved in January this year, when I spotted another woman on the 'cousin's' Facebook account. I got in contact with her and realised we both had been victims of exploitation. Constant requests for photos and videos did seem desperate.

I spoke to a lady who owned one of the shisha cafe's who was able to find out that he was married to an Egyptian lady and for quite sometime. I was shocked!!! He seemed so genuine. His friends came clean and others from his village cooperated in talking with me. I was able to speak to a brother and sister, but the sister did not know what to say. Another relative helped me to access a few groups on Facebook to shame the b**tard! And his contract was terminated with immediate affect. I was very lucky that someone told me about a secret group on Facebook for women in Egypt who had been subject to fraud and exploitation. One lady gave me a list of everything I could do to get back at him and stop him from ever coming over to the UK. It was devastating to think that the man I was to spend the rest of my life with had used and abused me like this (the temper should've been the first warning to get out!!!). I feel I can do no more, but to raise awareness to women.

Not all girls/women will listen, but they have a long misearable road ahead. It's hard to describe a narcissistic psychopath until you've experienced one first hand. A lot of people will not believe the damage they can cause. I have been out of work for a while now, suffering with severe anxiety, trying to build my confidence again. Will us women ever be able to trust again. I seek comfort in reading the many stories on this forum and hope that we can all find happiness one day.

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