Response re:circumcision

Submitted by Jordana Ghannam-Ahmed (United States), Aug 27, 2016 at 23:01

While it IS true that Egypt has a truly inexplicable and astoundably high rate of FGM (and this IS regardless of religion as the Copts practice it too), I do not agree that men from my culture prefer women who have been cut-quite the opposite actually, which is why you will see this propensity of the lower class, less educated men seeking relationships with western women for pseudo-Romantic/sexual gratification (not all of them, nor are all of those that do this limited to that class of society; I'm just speaking in general here).

The lower the education level and the lower the socio economic level of the family, the less likely this man will be able to marry a woman of his choosing (whoever she may be) and/or for love/physical attraction. FGM is NOT something that is openly discussed even among women, it is considered taboo to acknowledge, yet in many circles to not be circumcised or circumsize ones daughters would be akin to social suicide. Many men, my own hisband included, had no real idea of what FGM was in clinical detail, and had only heard of it talked about, but would never know the difference if he were to see a real woman "down there" as he hasn't had enough experience or education to know the ramifications on one vs. the other. My husband is from Egypt, an attorney, his family is wealthy and well educated, women are not oppressed, and they fully support their sons choices to marry/date/not marry and to choose who they like (although as in any family, it is preferable to choose a partner that ones family approves of for the right reasons of course)

. I am from a Palestinian/Syrian family and FGM is not practiced whatsoever in our culture and my father, having 4 sisters and 5 daughters, has particular sympathy for women and feels very strongly against this practice and many others practiced in more rigid Arab countries. That being said, I cannot help but wonder the FGm status of every Egyptian woman I encounter; my mother in law (her age would make it highly likely that she would have been as this practice was only brought to the surface on the last decade or so), my female friends and the other mms of our extended family (my husband has all brothers no sisters). It's not something socially acceptable to bring up, and those who oppose. It do so quietly and without vocal opposition as it could cause them ostracization as I said above. The men care very little about such matters, as mos of them do not know what the hell a clitoris is and couldn't identify one of they tired lol. It matters to them what a woman's reputation is, not whether or not she has a clitoris or not. (And if she has a good reputation, no one can say for sure) since the Syrian civil war, many Egyptian men have sought wives in the Syrian refugee camps or within Egypt amongst the displaced Syrian businessmen community, as they consider Syrian women to be physically superior to their own, they often have light eyes and lighter skin and physically petite-again just a generalization here from EGy men POV, not my own, and since I happen to fit this stereotype I can speak firsthand on this aspect-and Egyptian men treat this as a nothing short of a genetic miracle (those of us in the west know this is quite common but to them it is far more desirable and never overlooked) also to them Syrian women are less demanding and materialistic, have better domestic skills (Syrians don't typically have home help, and many are proud and fulfilled by being homemakers) and they also take advantage of the fact that in this current climate in Syria, every daughter a father has is a financial liability, and a responsibility for her safety and well being weighs heavily on him.

To be offered a dowry that by their standards is exorbitant (by EGY standards it would be an insult) by a Egyptian man with a family business or education is looked at as a nobody loses situation. Many of these egytpsin men are eligible honest decent men, not opportunists, and they simply want a reliable loving pretty wife and family-something they can only dream of in Egypt as dowry prices are extraordinary, women place more unrealistic and demanding expectations on their fiances and husbands, and stress and pressure due to finances is the cause of a high number of divorces. You will asp find that Egyptian men do not marry until markedly older than their Arab neighbors (mostly due to military and money reasons) and therefore they are not opposed to women who would be unmarriable elsewhere

. This is also why many Egyptian men will tirelessly exploit and chase after older western women-many of them have gone ther while lives with having limited or no sexual experiences and have a now or never mentality that they wouldn't have been in favor of but now are because of their desperation. They may seem open minded or accepting to these unsuspecting women but do not be fooled; these rules will never apply to any woman they intend to love or marry, and they will still believe they are sinning by engaging in sex before marriage (any kind). Just some thoughts...

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