Not all egyptians are bad, but some. western muslim woman here

Submitted by monique (United States), Jul 31, 2016 at 15:21

Good afternoon everyone, assalamu alaikum (this is muslim greeting for peace be onto you)
First I want you to get an understanding for who I am. I am a born western woman, I am a military veteran (I'm not weak at all lol) I am very independent (home owner on my own , college educated, respectable job , etc etc) I am a strong minded woman with confidence. I am also a mother , I am a divorcee. I am also very strong in my faith and study Islamic studies so I know what is culture and what is religion.

My sweetheart is Egyptian, and I am lucky I got a good one with a kind family BUT...even he will tell you not all are so good. some things you need to keep in mind. Firstly their culture says marry younger virgin, egpytian ... so if you are a divorcee or not a virgin you are already against the culture. this doesn't mean it doent happen...look at me... next the culture says women are subservient. mind you islam actually says a man should be kind and take care of his wife so that high level of respect she gives him as the man of the household is returned to her as the queen of the household. a muslim man that truly LOVES you will treat you like a queen but if he doesn't love you.......well as my sweetheart puts it, arabs can be bad lol. The family needs to meet you, if he hides you from family then walk away now. Especially if the mom is not involved. mother is most important in islam and culture. Financially even if he is poor, he should try to provide as much as he can and you should notice a level of guilt he feels if you have to pay for something. if he is content with you paying this is a bad sign.

With my situation, the family did not say YAY AN AMERICAN DIVORCEE lol. actually they questioned it A LOT, not all words were kind, but overtime they got to know who was I, why did he love me, why was I who he wanted to be with and at this point in time they are the most loving and sweet and wonderful people. you need to make an effort to speak Arabic, many young ones know English but still it is respectful to the family . you need to highy respect the aunties and mom and try your best. offer to help with housework even if they wont let you casue you are a guest lol offer to help cook, be kind. do not question your man in front of the family, period. this is shaming him and disrespectful and they will see you as a difficult woman. this doesn't mean you cant have an opinion, it means this....would you want him questioning you in front of your mother? probably not. do not call the family members by first nme. you enver call an elder first name it is disrespect.

if you are not muslim....well...first off understand that the kids will be muslim and this is NOT negotiable. if you are not okay with this then don't marry a muslim man of any country. you need to lern about islam or it will be so hard unless he is not practicing muslim that is. I am rather devout and born muslims often tell me I am stricter than many of them so for me this part is easy and natural but for you it may not be. you need to at least be a strict Christian or strict jew. if you are not one of those two.........ehhh......burning red flag lol.

next if he wants to get physical with you before marriage he DOES NOT respect you. period. do you think he would do this with a good Egyptian girl? no lol. if he is okay being alone with you like he says lets get a hotel and we wil be alone when you come to Egypt for awhile....NO NO NO NO....if he is a practicing musim and respects you he will not even think kto shame you like this.

next a flat and mahr. mine owned a flat and got it fixed up nicely for me and worked so so hard on it, fully furnished and with many nice things. no he isn't rich lol he is just a super hard worker with an amazing family. as for mahr he let me decide but was willing to give me anything I demanded. if he doesn't ask you about mahr this is bad. it is a muslim woman's right first off to have this. also pre wedding gifts are common if it was an Egyptian woman. I happen to love antique style jewelry, one of my gifts was an antique styled ruby ring that is so beautiful and unique looking. the fact he took the time to find something that fit my unique style says something. you have to look at these things.

also he shoud not be talking to bunch of women. if he is truly serious about you he will not speak to any other women and if he says they re my friends. no. males and females are not friends in islam. we separate the genders. if he is not muslim disregard. if you are not muslim and think it is okay for you to have male friends and he is muslim. haha....you are bound to argue and shame him without realizing you are doing this to him. and odnt you dare touch a foreign man, when I say foreign I mean other than family. don't hug a man, this is equivalent to you watching him kiss a woman on the lips.

also you need to be modest. you will see some muslim women not modest but if you truly want respect you need to show it. I cover wrists to ankles and wear hijab that hangs over my chest to hide the shape. I do not wear any makeup (it is better to only wear makeup at home for him ) this is my choice btw he would not be upset if I wore it but I am strict on my modesty for the sake of my faith. if you are not muslim it will be hard unless he is not a practicing muslim himse. fBUT if you truly want the best Egyptian man you want a practicing muslim. big difference in practicing muslim or not.

some are good, some are bad. all can be moody lol. just be mindful.

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