For Ophelia

Submitted by Shömi (United States), Apr 14, 2016 at 13:39

Dear Ophelia,

First of all, thank you for reading my story and addressing me in your reply. The topic is obviously of emotional nature, and translating it into dry facts was a useful exercise for me as well.

Whether coincidentally or not, the last chapter of my story was written today. My "ex" closed some of his online accounts and lost every affordable option to communicate with me. I would love to hear if your moroccan friend also happened to delete his fb...? From what I learned from you so far, there is a good chance we have a match.

When it comes to first stages of my relationship... I'm familiar with the behavior you described. I think it's a natural form of competition in these tourists places. Many locals own businesses while the migrants work for commissions and have nothing to lose. There is plenty of tension between these two groups, filled with gossip and jealousy. On both sides, stealing clients and pretty ladies proves to be the most effective way to get on each others nerves. I definitely did detect some funny vibes between my partner and the "beach boys" (meaning surfers and acrobats I guess). Interestingly enough, on my third tour I ended up joining their training sessions, and was pleasantly surprised how knowledgeable and helpful these men were.

Anyhow, every migrant is a local somewhere, and when reputation in their hometowns comes to play, they change accordingly. (An old movie called "Hideous Kinky" pictures these situations quite well.)

You know Ophelia, I had plenty of time to think about this adventure of mine. The kind of love I've described and experienced, and you are now contemplating, is a sensation very similar to being high on drugs. Same rules apply. You can count on being provided with short moments of happiness, and absolute misery in between. It will never stop at just this one trip. As you taste the beauty of illusion, your reality will be become dull and meaningless. Yet it will always be you responsible for providing material base for your life together. The price will increase over time. Eventually it will become all of it, your time, your dignity, your money, your friendships. And as the quality of the romance fades away, you will be able to quit only when it becomes unbearable.

In my initial response I focused on risks and discomforts. But that was not really how I wanted to convey my warning. You should not be afraid that you will not enjoy your trip. You should rather become aware that you might like it too much. The real danger of it is the likely addiction. You already admitted that you don't understand how it all even turned into attraction. I bet you feel like you are under a spell...

It took me a while to realize that people who fall for these schemes are not the "obese, old, vulgar white trash" you see around at moroccan hotels. It is us, the confident, open minded, adventurous men and women, who believe we are worth this special attention from an attractive partner. I'm sure you are a very lovable woman Ophelia. I'm sure it is possible for you to build a functional relationship with an honest man who has true feelings for you. Why not take him to the waterfalls and romantic beaches of Morocco ;)

Be well and take your time,

Shömi

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