Thank you..

Submitted by Ophelia (United Kingdom), Apr 10, 2016 at 06:44

First of all, I want to say thank you to all that have responded. I really appreciate your perspectives. Special thank you to Shömi, it sounds almost exactly the same situation (even down to the lines used) also I am experiencing that same pull. I am sorry to hear you had to go through this, I really appreciate you sharing your experience though.. I need something to force me to block him! At the moment the head just can't seem to override the heart and do what I know I need to. He is really pressurising me to book a flight and I feel extremely conflicted, I almost want to see it for myself (stupid I know even though everything points me away from this car crash situation where I will almost certainly end up hurt).

I realised he never says anything other than (as you mentioned Shömi the same recycled lines "I miss uuuu" "love u" etc) and I wanted to dig a little deeper so I asked him what he is looking for and why he wants me specifically. He couldn't say, which is kind of obvious as he doesn't know me.

Cynthia- thank you too. this is the only place where I feel I can talk about this as I haven't told any of my friends. Monte you gave a really interesting angle, I can see why it seems like I feel so interchangeable now and can really see why this becomes such a focus in life. Alice, could you explain more to me about the "beach boy" culture there? As I did notice a pattern of clothing styles and behaviour of a certain kind of guy there. I'm trying to put myself off in as many ways as possible here while still cannot summon up the power to block him, I would feel guilty if I just disappeared as he's been calling me almost everyday and I have got some kind of connection that I am unable to prise myself out of at the moment.

I know I am probably sounding quite irrational, it's quite an internal conflict at the moment.

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