J why having second thoughts?

Submitted by j (United States), Apr 4, 2016 at 11:02

Dear all readers .. I forgot to mention.. I love him dearly.. he in the other side.. is the man I dream of all my life..I feel very loved when I am with him,, he is my friend and he shares everything with me..

if only he didn't have all these issues of insecurities and obsession to control me.
He is afraid of losing me and always asking if I love him,.,
His threats are to scare me ..to protect himself from adultery and disrespect from women. its like if we woman are their enemy.. the way they see us,,, we are like their belonging..their own.. that is the reason for such protection...and as men they ..can not loose their dignity from a woman disrespecting them.. They believe in the woman obedience.. but I do not believe it should be imposed on us .. with threats of the different this he would do in different circumstances..

sometimes I think all those swears and manly shows and reactions are to gain the woman respect. and alert them.. because he is not concern of what I think of him,, he wants me to know how bad he is and will be if I go out of track in the relationship..
He even has discussed .. how he treated his ex wife ,, in different situations.. I thought it was not true .. since nobody go speaking and volunteering bad and negative experience about themselves...
so many times I think .. he is just saying these things to scare me.. so I do not play games with him..
is this self protection? why would any one provide all these information about themselves upfront..?
These were just alerts to me.. even from him ..himself.. his violence ..did become true.. and his defense would be.. I told you this would happen to you if you did something like this,, you did not believe me.. I told you I go out of control,, and i do not forgive .. disobedience... do not talk to other men.. do not post selfies in facebook.. do not..have other man photos in your phone.. do not.... do not.. walk away from me.. do prepare my food// if I ask.. if you do not is an insult to me.. do not ask me to help clean bathrooms.. wash the car.. is insult to me... do not..

and then he comes with the I am so sorry .. its your fault .. I told you .. to be obedient... and shows the greatest love and protection..and love me all over again...everything will be fine is just listen to me.. I love you...
He is my friend,, I love him,, he is always with me,, we laugh..talk..play....best intimacy ever.. he take care of me like no other man.. I know I have to leave him.... I will have the strength to do so..

Our relationship has been very difficult ..but we have loved each other dearly.. He has been there for me through all the storms with my children and family and ex husband.. they have given him alot of hard time.. that is why he wanted to leave.. but he says he love me.. no one in my family and friends agrees to this relationship.. he is a good man.. he is just very jealous and demanding.. I know I have to leave him.... I will have the strength to do so.. we have signed the divorce.. he wants me to stop the process... Our relationship is very stormy.. he says ..because is true love.. if it wasn't true love he would not care .. and would not be here with me... he does have other options.. and so do I.. I love him very much.. I just pray .. God gives me the strengths to let him go.. and then protect me from the pain of losing him... Since his love is like no other.. not even my husband,, the father of my children was able to love me in the ways he loves me...his love is so perfect...when is calm.. until it turns into a storm.... I am between paradise and hell... very sad story....

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