see from his eyes

Submitted by Muslim (United States), Mar 17, 2016 at 10:39

It seems from your post that you are not trying to see this from his perspective and you are only thinking from your perspective. In the west what you did is considered normal, but it is not so in the east. In the east (culturally or religiously) a woman doesn't come into physical contact with stranger men. Similarly, in the west you don't go and make out with stranger men. Different cultures and regions have different places where they draw the line at being faithful or not. You don't understand all of this and that is why you two are in this situation.

He is upset and angry because he loves you and saw you doing what in his culture is done by cheaters. Similarly you would be upset if his culture permitted adultery (like it is done in Germany) and he wouldn't see a problem with it. He seems to want to work it out but it seems he gets upset again when talking to you and you telling him that you did nothing wrong.

If you really want to save your marriage and you really do love him then you need to understand what I wrote above. You need to talk to him about what I said above and tell him that you did not understand what this meant to him and that you were raised in a culture where this is considered normal. Then apologize for hurting him, because he is hurt (intentionally or not) deeply to see his wife dancing with a stranger man. Also, you need to talk to him and learn about his expectations of you so you know what reaction to expect if you did something.

A successful marriage is where the couple compromise to give the other what they value highly.

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