HE FINALLY HIT ME.

Submitted by Littlelemon (Australia), Jan 16, 2016 at 10:33

After months of denying his violence and getting back together and breaking up with him, I decided to play it civil. He no longer wanted to spend his days off with me, switched his phone off for three or four days, refused all communication with me and continued to inform me of my lack of worth. Instead of being the quiet little victim that sat home and cried and self harmed and went crazy smashing things and being so frustrated with the situation.. I decided a different approach. When he would switch his phone off I would call my friends and go out, I would meet lovely people, involve myself in all my family things and catch the train into town (I felt so liberated) I even squeezed in a short holiday over east! In a way I felt like I was betraying him but I guess that is what 20 months of brainwashing would do.

The night of my parents 34th wedding anniversary we decided to go with some family friends to a local hotspot... I told him that I was going to sleep early. But while I was out my phone started blowing up with many abusive texts about how he is out the front of my house and I better answer my phone or he will "show me". I got a text from an unknown number saying hey where r u? As I was gaining many friends at this time I thought it might have been one of them, I didn't want to be rude and say who is this so I just answered with "I'm at (the name of the bar). I finished my drink and it was 2:30am I was ready to go home. My friend and I were walking out as soon as I stepped out of the bar my friend yells "omg he is here he is here!" My body went limp and I couldn't believe my eyes. I heard him yelling all the names under the sun... The worst names and before I knew it... I had one hand around my throat and the other hand was belting me in the face. I dropped my bag to the floor and I used both hands to protect my face. I couldn't believe it. I was in shock. Although I can not remember much of what happened after due to the sheer stress of everything- the police were called, I ended up in hospital.

The following morning the police paid me a visit. I made a statement of what happened and he ended up being arrested and thrown into jail for three nights. He was released to seek legal advice and he awaits court on the 20th of this month. Silly thing is, his brother called me and managed make me feel guilty. He wriggled back into my life and we continue to communicate and I am still seeing him again. Unfortunately I have no strength and I feel like I've lost myself. The verbal abuse continues, we have had three arguments in 24 hours but he is still persisting on marrying me. I don't know what I want and I don't know where I stand. He blames me for everything including the restraining order. although much stronger than what I used to be- I just don't know what else life can throw at me. No domestic violence people could help me. My psychologist told me I would be back. She's like a clairvoyant. I am here to offer my help and strategies to anyone. I understand that I am Still battling. But this too shall pass.

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