Mixed religion and mixed ethnicity marriages do not work

Submitted by Linda Yavuz (United Kingdom), Feb 2, 2015 at 18:48

I've posted on here twice before about my marriage to a turkish national. Marriage is a very important cornerstone of all societies and it's function is to create a lifelong union which is strong and supports a family not only to have chidrens but to change and sustain all of us to older age in a wider family network. BUT most ethnic or tribal or religious faith have different beliefs and rules for life. In the western world we try to believe that love will conquer all. yes love is sensational but soon wears thin when there is no actual union of living and perspectives and overlap of core beliefs. We can travel life's journey easily enough if we keep separate lives but when you need to relie on each other it falls apart.

But I was so glad when I finally pulled the plug on our marriage when he started dating his brothers elderly girlfriend. His younger brother also wanted to come to England once we got married and we lived in England. They are attracted by money my husband sent all his income back to turkey. I worked very hard full time even through I has two young children by our marriage plus 2 older children from my first marriage.plus soon my mother came to live with us as she had dementia. The big problem was all this attention to a better economic future in uk changed presentiment in his family. His younger brother bulent now aged 45 held this obesity to marry and come to uk It's been an obsolete disaster. In 2005 bulent found an older uk lady looking for love and recently divorced called susan. who was free and had a lump of money from her divorce plus 3 grown up daughters. Within three days of meeting susan in Turkey bulent was phoning my husband saying this lady was his target. When she came back to uk after one week in Turkey in october 2005 would my husband ' keep her interested' I was very much against this. But in the end he obliged and started a relationship with her both brothers were in a relationship with her. at the start they both wanted her to marry bulent so he could come to England.

That was 2005 but once I found out there was a sexual strange relationship going on with all three of them finally I told my husband to leave. I'd already been in a three way relationship just after we had got married in may 1993. My husband took £1000 from me in July 1993 I never understood why but he used thus money to marry his cousin in Turkey from his village her name was ceding And she moved into our holiday home on fethiye that I had purchased in 1992. Also his mother moved in as well I only ever spent 3 nights in this villa. But in 2006 once divorced I was free and happy. My husband still lives with susan. my husbands brother was very upset at the time. But got over it in 2011 he dud find love to another British lady called Vicki from Liverpool they married in fethiye 11/11/11 Result? They had a child in 2012 a girl but due to current settlement visa requirements in uk the UK resident must earn 25 But his wife was claiming benefits so no settlement visa was possible

So another mess bulent now 45 works as dis jockey in fethiye my ex husband works every hour in the day and sends everything he earns to his family in Turkey susan has now retired and they live on her pension. I'm happy but still have to support our son at university. but it's worth it my future is good so is the future of both children from my marriage

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