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from loving Egypt, to fighting for my children...Reader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men Submitted by Praying for my Family! (United States), Jun 13, 2014 at 23:56 For 5 years or so, I've been spiraling down a dark path because I had a friend from Egypt who swears he really does love me and would do anything not to lose me. Where is he now? I have no clue. Reading your story put the last piece into this puzzling emotional turmoil I've been feeling for years now. I was going to be his dirty little secret until his uncle died, then he would take me to his city. How stupid I feel. All the warning signs were there and I ignored them because he was going to have no problem with my drinking and way of life. Which was very nice to hear since I didn't want to give up my drinking no matter how much I wanted to stop. There were a lot of times I got sober for more than a few months, then he would pull these disappearing stunts on me, leaving me to wonder where he was at and that made me really angry. I would start drinking again, then he would come back. I went to my first AA meeting today. My exhusbands sister went with me. I was surprised how accepting and loving his family was towards me despite the troubles I have caused. Their exact words, "We care about you and want the best in life for you and your kids. Get your life together, don't drink anymore." At the AA meeting, I was nervous, but my exes sister was there talking some sense into me while we were waiting for the meetings to start. She knows about this Egyptian man in my online life. She asked me, would you want to be with someone who is promoting your drinking? What's going to happen to your health? My jaw dropped at the realization, my drinking was causing problems in our past. My exhusband would get frustrated trying to make me see this and would tell me to make a better life for myself so our children can enjoy our life too. My only thoughts were, you don't love me because you don't accept me as I am. You and your family hate me. When all they were trying to do was intervene so I can start fixing what alcohol destroyed in my life. Part of what I was debating on was the fact that this Egyptian man said he was working 17 hours a day so he couldn't spend much time with me online (notice I'm not calling him my Egyptian man because he never was). I think he was going to use this excuse for when I go to Egypt so when he disappeared for days, I wouldn't feel angry because he was supposedly working. I can relate to the fact that his family would be horrified at the fact their son was contemplating being with a foreign woman. The fact that he would never cross his family over a woman. Along with my AA meetings and coming here to read some relatable stories to mine, I feel like I'm making the right decisions. I have lost custody of my kids because of my drinking. Now I'm working towards gaining their trust and I'm holding onto the fact that alcohol is nothing but a tool of destruction. You might be able to say for a foreign woman, Egyptian men are nothing but a tool of destruction in their lives too. I've hit rock bottom because of these two combinations. Now I'm working on my sobriety with the help of other people, strangers from my community that care about the road to a healthier lifestyle that I'm choosing to make and are willing to support me 24/7. I'm working on my relationship with my exhusband for the sake of the children. Gaining his trust by making small little steps to sobriety. Now, instead of spending my money on a fantasy based on lies and deception, I'm going to use the money to make a better life for myself, my children, my exhusband, my extended family and his extended family. With their help, God willing, I can take this 24 hour sobriety chip into a 1 month sobriety chip, and so on. If I put this chip in my mouth and it melts in my mouth, then I can have a drink, my willing sponsor said. It made me laugh and I enjoy the support. I hope it never melts. :) Praying for my family who cares deeply enough for me that they expressed their frustrations with me even when I didn't want them telling me. I care deeply enough for my family since I can see the difference now. It's not the man who enables you to do unhealthy things in your life that loves you, it's the man who fights for your health and safety that cares and loves you unconditionally. Consider this when an Egyptian man tells you that you can drink and do whatever you want if you marry him. Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments". Reader comments (21923) on this item
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