To Christine, online dating, Moroccan men

Submitted by Lina (United Kingdom), Sep 8, 2013 at 04:46

Christine,

Without meaning to sound condescending, you are very young, too young to go through international dating. I advise you to listen to what Luigi told you - do you really want to reach your mid-twenties and ask yourself how you could have been so foolish?

I'm not going to tell you that all online Moroccan men are bad, because they're not, but you have several things going against you. Firstly, it's odd that a Muslim guy would introduce an internet girlfriend to his parents - this is usually done in person, and when the man is serious about a girl. Otherwise, it's because they're all in on some kind of scam. They very rarely ask for money: there will usually be some kind of scenario like a sick relative, or a car accident, where you will be made to feel guilty. Also realise that almost everyone in Morocco goes on to university. I'm pretty sure that it's free to study there and it's a lot easier doing that than to find a job. Also realise that just because a guy is ambitious, it doesn't mean he has nothing up his sleeve, in fact men (or women) with ambition and relative intelligence are more likely to pull the wool over your eyes to get what they want.

Right now it's all sweet nothings to reel you in, but he could completely change at any minute, usually when you are hooked, which is what you need to watch out for.

So what could he want if not your heart and his ring on your finger? He could want a marriage of convenience if he wants to live and work abroad; he could want to convert you to Islam; he could want you for a "bit of fun"; or he could want you because you're English and "exotic". Worst of all he could want you for all of these things, and trust me it does happen.

Now, suppose he is a good person after all, with no ulterior motive, you now need to ask yourself if you're ready for this. Are you a Muslim? Do you know French or Arabic? Most Moroccans will want a wife that talks their language, there are exceptions, but this is the rule. The easiest way to tell is to see what is family is like - are they patriotic, traditional etc.? There are different social classes in Morocco, and it's hard to differentiate unless you speak the language. If he has a traditional family, most likely his mother will want him to marry a native girl (sometimes they need to be exactly the same tribe), and in that case he may not leave you, but will continue to keep you around either as a second wife, or as someone to use. In that case, he will need to save up for his wife - Moroccan women are notoriously high maintenance. And if you don't happen to be, or convert to being, a Muslim that gives him more rights to abuse you. Are you happy with that?

since I said<< I love you>> and nothing else ...so if u love me and u want also to be with me u know where u find me .. i'm here in morocco ... and me i'll do my best for coming to you .and without your helping ... I love you .. so i'll do the impossible to be together

This is all very romantic, but the constant declarations of love are what makes all this sound illegitimate. Either he has a motive, or at twenty he is rather immature. You cannot love someone until you come face to face with them, and I think you need to tell him this, and see his reaction. You'd be surprised at how much BS people can talk online, with or without a straight face.

If you do decide to go ahead with this, after noting all these points, I think you should wait until you go on holiday and see what he's like in person. And also remember, just because he's not a scammer, it doesn't mean he's not your regular player, you know the kind that you find all over the world.

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