His Response Sounds Standard---UK, Moroccan, Muslim Man

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Sep 6, 2013 at 09:42

Christine:

I can see how someone your age in your position would like to hear all that, but everything he said is nothing I haven't heard before in so many words.

What he's doing (and it's actually a clever move on his part) is putting the ball back in your court as we say here in America.

I'm quite what is drawing you in is that he's leading the impression that he doesn't care what you instead you do instead of crying/begging you to come.

Quite an effective technique to hook the ladies.

As far as what to do, well, you're 18, so perhaps the passage of time doesn't seem too fast for you, but you may also be amazed at how time you waste with on-line nonsense.

I really don't think either of you are in position to finanically make this even remotely realistic in terms of settling your doubts, and most people can't be going back and forth between countries all the time.

So I know not to fully trust on his words because its just words, but what if he's telling the truth

Only way to know that for sure is to bust the bank to see him maybe once, get married without being sure and hope he sticks around for ten years or so. Are you willing to spend the next decade of your life chasing what could be an on-line phantom and a situation that exists only in your mind. That's the nature and the risk of this. And as you can see, a lot of times, it doesn't happen.

You're in a vulnerable position here. Being that you are 18, you can now form legal contracts most anywhere, but the trouble is you don't have the experience especially with on-line dating. The combination could be pretty disastrous for you if things don't work out.

I'll tell you now that he has done high school, college and is in 1st year uni so far and doesn't that mean he really does want his own career and have a successful life, not just to use me for visa / money? Please

Actually, a lot of these men who scam women and vis-versa are fairly well off compared to some of their countrymen. How poor can they be to know English or French or have internet access? Listen, it's not exactly the desert wanderers or the Bedoiuns who roam around scamming Westerners.

At this point, you need to end this because it's just going to drive you nuts. There's never any way to know for sure with this, and if he is after a VISA.....on-line scammers will wait months or even YEARS to get what they want and then leave.

Seriously, do you really want to be 25 or 26 and have that happen and have to start all over again? Because sticking with this could very well mean that.

And I think Isis has a point: there'sa good chance this man will be under pressure from his family to marry a Muslim virgin, and maybe he'll expect you to be just that. Sure, it all sound lovey-dovey now, but how can you be sure.

You can't. And it doesn't matter how many of his family or friends you talk to on skype. I've been down that road too. This relationship is ultimately between you and him and no one else. Think it's any skin of their back if their son/brother/Muslim friend doesn't get a Western girlfriend?

I hardly think so, and if it is, they were looking to benefit by proxy which would make it a scam or they'd be too involved in somoene else's person life. Either way, not good.

Christine, I understand how you feel, but you are spending too much time and energy worrying about this. It's not worth the time and the effort regardless of what he says.

I really have to wonder what your reaction would be if a British man you've never met told you he loved you. Would it still be this hard? Because real love cannot really happen on-line, and it's not apparent here because you don't trust him and will not be able to bring yourself to.

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