I can totally relate

Submitted by Sloan (United States), Aug 30, 2013 at 09:56

Our stories are almost identical. I began talking with an Algerian man a couple of years ago on Skype. When the message from him first appeared, I avoided him; but he was most persistent. Then one day I said hello. You could ask me the question why, but I couldn't give you an honest and direct answer. One thing I can be sure of, I don't believe it to be one of my best decisions.

The story goes.. He started out by telling me that he just wanted to talk to people that could help him develop the English language; so, I agreed. I am a teacher, so I can understand the craving for knowledge and the need for assistance. I helped him for a couple of months and he honestly just seemed to be interested in the language. Then, something changed in his conversation and he started getting really personal. We talked a lot about his family, my family, love, past relationships, goals for the future etc. I could feel that he was charming me into a "serious" relationship but I didn't stop him. I went with him emotionally and I allowed myself to feel for him. Why? I'm still asking myself that question. Could it have been me filling a thirst for a deep connection? Or maybe the feeling of having someone devote so much time? Maybe I was easy prey because I had closed myself off to love. I avoided it at all cost and in many ways it avoided me.

Honestly, I'm not sure I want to accept the answer that I feel in my heart.

Anyway, moving on... So, like you, we made plans. He was controlling. He asked for my passwords and he thought he could tell me about the people in my life that I could be friends with. You know, no male friends. He found out really quickly that controlling me was harder than he thought. One thing about him though, he was always willing to do whatever I asked of him. He always felt to me like the perfect gentleman. But, I was still skeptical of him and I felt like I could not trust him. He was always evasive and he never answered questions in a way that would ease my suspicion. Speeding up... When I wouldn't come to Algeria to see him (I wanted to meet on mutual territory) he got really upset and stopped talking to me. He refused my messages, my text and would not answer my emails. It's more to the story but now, two years later he contacted me again...But this time I refuse to play the fool.

I say all this to say. Trust your feelings. If something is not right believe in that. No one has the right to control you. Believe in your gut feelings. Some people call it intuition and some call it discernment. I say, God has a way of correcting our wrong. Take this experience as a lesson learned and move on to find someone who will stand beside you; not someone who expects you to walk behind him.

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