They are all the same

Submitted by juana la cubana (United Kingdom), Aug 18, 2013 at 10:09

You really must get over this man NOW!!.

This patterns of chatting to you saying they want you, need you, that you are the one, their sun moon and theirwhole world, is a BIG con and a lie. These men I think work in rotation, they sweet talk a few women at a time and then suddenly they stop chatting for a while to concentrate on another and come back to you etc, it happened to me too, you are not alone, but you still have time to stop getting more hurt.

My liar was in my life on an off for 6 years, we were chatting almost every day for 3 years on skype, we could see each other too. I never went to see him nor did he come to see me, as we were in different countries, but I never did anything sexual with him, I think this was the pull for him, he never asked me for money either. But he started going offline suddenly when we were chatting so, I blocked him and we did not chat for a whole 3 years, he did try to contact me via e-mail and via text but I ignored him.

Then one day I got an e-mail saying he wanted me to phone him urgently! I did (stupid move) and to my surprise he had moved due to a new job to my country, to my city and he wanted to meet me for the first time face to face! As I was the one he wanted blah, blah, blah, the usual stuff, I fell for it all over again. He did not disappoint, he is gorgeous, clever, kind, well mannered, etc. I visited him, we chatted it was all lovely, I fell for him hard again and farrrrrrrrrrrr too quickly.

This man is from Jordan, I thought Jordan being a country a bit more relaxed in its attitude, this man would be the same. But he did tell me we could not be boy friend and girl friend as it was not allowed in his religion (first red flag), he said he was not married but never said that he was not engaged either (second red flag), even though I asked him, not face to face but via e-mail. He never asked me to marry him or say exactly why he came looking for me (third red flag), of course he wanted a bit more sexual interaction but still I did not sleep with him. This was strange to me because in one he was very religious but he invited me to his place where we were alone! This is not allowed in Islam, I did not know this until not long ago, he never told me.

We fell out over something he did and i did not speak to him for 2 months, but I missed him so I contacted him via e-mail he replied that he had suddenly he left the country. Overall he was here for 6 months.

He now has another job, back in the Middle East, or maybe its another woman he has gone to meet there, who knows !!, nothing else happened with us. I have written e-mails to him asking what all that was about but he does not reply! (fourth flag)

Did he come to me as a sort of revenge to mess up my life? because I had turned him down so many times, was he just after sex? I dont know because he never said why he came looking for me after so many years.

Maybe these men do feel something for us but due to their duty for their parents and religion they cannot follow their dreams or maybe we are just a sexual conquest for them and a way to gain experience before they marry the Muslim girl their parents will chose for them.

I dont know, all I know is that I was emotionally deeply hurt but all because I let myself get hurt. I was looking for a gentleman, a good religious man who had moral standards and a good heart but I found a cad, a liar and a coward who could not be honest :(...

For you my friend , I would say be careful search your soul about what you want from him. if marriage is what you seek, ask him to marry you if that is what you wish see how he answers, does he answer at all, does he change the subject? Actions speak louder than words, just be aware !

As hard as it is, we sometimes dont want to see the reality of the situation with these men, we love being in love......but for our mental wellbeing, we MUST face the truth head on.

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