Kristain: Why You are Better Off; Warning Signs, Weird Facebook Friends, Giving Passwords

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Aug 18, 2013 at 09:53

Dear Kristain:

Thank you for sharing, Kristain! I can clearly see this is not easy for you.

To start, meeting someone on-line from a chat service like skype who lives in another country is never a good idea and the prospects for a decent, successful marriage are dim. It really doesn't matter if its days or months, you can only get so much out of it compared to real-life dating.

Second, the fact that he had all of these women as facebook friends....it's one of the oldest warning signs in the book. Almost always, Kristain, these women are either "bots" for a sexual service or other women he is messing around with.

Third, the idea of sharing passwords----it's an old story and one I've been through myself. For the most part, it really says there is no trust in the relationship when that gets asked and in on-line, international dating building trust just does not happen. When there is no trust, Kristain, there cannot be true love.

Fourth, this man was supposedly "in love" with you, but couldn't even tell you about his family or let you see his facebook friends list????? First of all, it's normal to know about someone's family if you are discussing marriage and secondly asking to see someone's friends list should not be such a tall order if you are "in love".

Fifth, they usually get angry when you call them out on something. The other favourite go-to card when in trouble is to cry. If they are confident enough that you are invested emotionally in this relationship---which clearly you were----then they may even threaten to leave to you to get you to come running back all apologetic and perhaps even thinking it was your fault. This sort of trick is a text-book technique that can be quite effective.

A lot of what you have said are classic warning signs that he cannot be trusted. This man clearly did not care for you in the same way that you cared for him and he was showing all the signs of using you. I understand the way you felt about him, but I don't think true love happen just on-line. There's too many communication issues even with skype and too much uncertainty.

Kristain, you are better off without him and it would be a good for you to delete anything and everything about him and go out with your friends, family and people you know in real life.

Take a break from skype and the computer.

The final thing to be aware of----it has been 10 days, but don't be surprised if weeks or months from now, he contacts you again.

Feel free to post as often as you need.

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