Know what you want from the start.

Submitted by Juana la Cubana (United Kingdom), Aug 17, 2013 at 10:10

The way i see it is as follows. We are all adults and we need to find out a bit about the people whom we fall in love with, be them from our own countries or from elsewhere. I am surprised that so many of the women here are so surprised that the Muslim men whom they fall in love with dont marry them or indeed, treat them badly. Domestic abuse happens all around the world, it is not something that only Muslim men do. All women, yes, would love to find someone that treats us well and because we have that mind set, we miss out on numerous "red flags" or signs that these men give us, that all may not be well or indeed, end well. We even ignore them when they say they will never marry us and we continue investing our valuable time with them

. I too fell for one of those charmers but I cannot blame anyone else apart from myself as I should be the one setting out the standards that I will accept from a man, yes, I ignored a lot of red flags and I am still in the process of trying to come to terms with what happened. What I do now is when a man says he is a muslim, I may chat with him, etc but nothing else, I do not meet them, skype with them or anything, I have set MY rules. Any man who wants to be part of my life has to treat me with respect from the start, not push me into doing anything I dont wish to do, its best to be alone than in bad company>

If you have been through heart ache, the best thing to do is give yourself time to forget them, invest in yourself, study, find a hobby whatever it takes to forget them, and if they contact you again, ignore them, block them from your e-mail or phone. If someone truly loves you nothing will stand in their way and they will treat you right because they love you and they will never dream of hurting you physically or with words or taking your money, if fact, if he was a true Muslim man, he would do all those things for you, treat you right, look after your, provide for you and protect you. I wish you all well.

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