To CandyEyes/Cheezer76

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Jul 21, 2013 at 12:41

It's usually hard to find fault when as you say you are "just starting".

But here's the concern:

In your first post, you kind of gave us the impression that you two were like old pals because you talked on skype, but yet you also say that you haven't given him much of a chance in a later post.

Carefully consider this when I say that talking on-line, even on skype, is no substitute for in-person dating.

This thread has gotten somewhat choppy, so I am still unclear what his citizenship status is. It would help if you both were UK citizens because there would be little to no motive for a VISA scam.

"He did Marry someone which they broke about 2 yrs ago and he did ask would I have a problem to meet her at all as they still friends. "

I would be very interested to know the circumstances here. Believe it or not, some people will actually fully cooperate in a VISA scam and I really wonder if that was the case here.

I find this dynamic very suspicious .

What also concerns me is how you are justifying this----ie "there are no good British men"…"there are good men and bad."

People have said that on here over and over again.

You won't get any argument from me on the failures of Western men when it comes to dating women, but any relationship, whether it's with an Egyptian man, a Nigerian man or an English man must stand on its own merits.

A lot of the good Muslim or whatever men will be looking for women from their own culture. In many cases, there's a lot of cultural pressure for them to do this.

Furthermore, meeting a "good" someone over skype or other chat service would in my experience be rare indeed. Successful, scandal-free on-line dating is best done on through a formal site based on an interest (Christian dating site, ect.) and the more often you can see them, the better.

You also have repeatedly said that he won't be able to take you to the cleaners because you don't have much. I was in a bad relationship where I got used and you may be surprised what you can get used for. I think you've got the just of handing out money to someone 20 years your junior in the name of "love", but please be aware they almost never beg or directly ask for something-----they will make you feel obligated to give it out.

It's good that he's not going to start off as a control freak and will let you have male friends. But if he gets really jealous and changes his mind, that's a big red flag.

And whatever happened to dating and seeing where it goes.

That's a great point, Candyeyes.

First, it's important to realize a lot of Muslims don't have a positive view on dating.

Second, there's nothing wrong with dating someone, so long as you don't give someone a bunch of free passes against your own judgement and instincts because they are different.

See the disadvantage?

Dating guru Marius Panzerella has written about how women are looking for reasons NOT to be with a man, and on here what happens is women look for reasons TO BE WITH someone.

Third, I think that women on here and people who do this on-line in general fall too hard, too soon and too falsely----meaning that what they think is real love is more like a crush.

I would say that if you can see this man in person more than on skype, you'll be in a better position. But I also think that there is a chance that this could be more trouble than it's worth. You'll really have to keep an eye out and on your toes and that alone gets a lot of people to just throw up their arms and move on.

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