Thank you Luigi

Submitted by syk (United Kingdom), Jul 17, 2013 at 12:12

Thank you for the reply and you are of course completely right. He became even more demanding and when I asked questions about Islam, he couldn't answer them. He doesn't even understand what he believes in. You cannot reason with someone like him.

Its quite subtle at first, the controlling I mean. Just little things here and there and you change them because you want to build trust. Cause we are good people right? But more and more the demands become unreasonable and before you know it, you are no longer seeing your friends, you are no longer going out, and you have reduced your male facebook friends to pretty much male relatives only. Most of us have had relationships before and KNOW exactly how they are meant to be. And all the red flags you ignore because "its their culture" or "its their religion" and you think you will be able to teach them to treat you well? You can't. There are no magic words that will make them suddenly see they are wrong. The longer it goes on, the less you are you. The more they have moulded you in to what they want you to be, but its never enough, they will push and push until you are broken and submissive and totally miserable.

I have just finished sending a goodbye message to him. Because what I realised is I am suffering with him and I will suffer without him, but the suffering without him will make me better in time. I can't allow this treatment to go on any longer. I have deleted and blocked him from everywhere.

I don't feel strong, I feel sick, anxious and I am hurting. In short - I am heartbroken.

And yes it goes without saying I will never be in a relationship with another muslim man again. They are too different from us, even the ones that say they are happy with a wonderful man, will have had to make a lot of sacrifices for it. But they might not even realise just how much they have done. Compromising is normal in a relationship, but both people need to be prepared to do it. Not just one person.

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