To Alyssa on Algerian Man, Visit to USA

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Jul 15, 2013 at 21:57

My algerian named Ibrahim is coming to the USA in September of this year....

I hope its not to marry you, because there's no way you're ready for that if you are posting on here and mulling it over. I don't even think meeting him or staying in this on-line relationship is a grand idea, either.

He met me initially over busuu then begged for my Skype then has talked to me every day since... I admit that I am not a romantic person or i DO have sooo high expectations for love.....c

You're just making excuses and I think you can raise the bar of standards here.

Of course he begged you for your love. That's what they do. Wear you down. They do it because it works and men can get what they want.

That I am deeplyyyy disappointed with beginning in a "relationship" (MY FIRST EVER) over the Internet...

Are you seriously using that as an excuse???? You're disappointed, yet still with him and now think you love him?

Having your first relationship ever as an on-line, international relationship is a terrible idea! There are so many manipulators and scams that go with that.

I mean, after the first couple of months of him talking to me... He proclaims to me and all his friends that he loves me....

Uh-huh…..so that makes it true?

It really is interesting how posters bring in third party verification into their relationship----"Oh, I've talked with his family, so it'll be fine" or "He tells his friends about me".

I had a woman who I once met on-line on a dating site who was telling her coworkers all about me and our planned rendenzous, and then at the last minute she wanted to jump-start things with her ex who allegedly hit her while in bed and that all long we were just going to meet "as friends".

( I am also really disappointed with being told I am loved and admitting love bac over the fricking Internet.....

You should be. True love doesn't happen on-line, even skype.

I was pretty much angry at the world at that point) .....

So, you're mad at everyone else but not a him?

Yup, his techniques are working perfectly.

As I said I am not really a romance kind of person so I didn't admit love bac immediately to him.... But eventually after many chats with this discourse: Alyssa: hey Ibrahim! Yada yada yada yada... Who else r u talking to? Ibrahim: a girl... Alyssa: about waaaatttt??? =P Ibrahim:...... About how I love u but u don't love me bac.....:( This eventually wore me down....

But darn I did struggle!!!

If you think that's a struggle, you haven't seen anything yet.

He is nice and sweet.... But we fight every other Skype chat... But I don't hate him or am annoyed with him nor do I dread the next Skype chat expecting to fight again.... In fact because of him I probably have observed a truth between all relationships which is...

No matter how much u fight u can never bring ur self to hate them....

Well, that's refreshing! Maybe you can tell that to the other posters on here among the 12,000 comments who say "I hate Muslim/Egyptian/whatever men, and I'm NEVER going to date them again!!!"

I guess though when you've been used for a VISA, scammed out of thousands of dollars, and see your partner leave or marry a girl from his own culture, religion or country once he's bored with you…… it kind of changes your view.

And things that typically annoyed u don't only when that person does those annoying things..... I mean I skyped with quit a few pervs before him and I would like to have slapped them all...But then I talked to Ibrahim who used the same kind of flirtation, I didn't even notice....

First, maybe your partner is just better at it. A lot of on-line scammers and gigolos know the game pretty well.

What really helps their cause though is they don't care, which means they won't get desperate if they've got other women waiting in the wings.

Maybe the other "pervs" asked you to get naked on cam or something after just a short line of "Hi, I'm X. Where are you from? Can I see you naked?" It's my understanding that's how some of the paysites go. And I wouldn't even call that flirting. If what I suspect is true, they were just looking for some free on-cam nookie.

Or secondly, maybe you're giving him a free pass because he's Algerian, different and younger.

The blood boiling temp is like the Goldie locks story I guess... Leave it cold and the relationship is boring ...

Make it hot and the blood will boil right through ur stomach lining.... But it must be just right... Not too cold and not health hazardous hot.. I like to find connections between my own experiences and others to find the normalcies ....

What experience? You said this is your first relationship.

One of the things about all other relationships is.... How much do the two in the relationship have in common?... When I thought of this.... My mind went blank ... I couldn't think of a single common interest between us....

This is usually where the relationship ends. It will only get worse.

I hope that is only because... How Many similarities could be shared between two people that grew up on different sides of the earth??

Not much, which is why this site is loaded with all kinds of testimony of failed and exaggerated relationships. And this is just the tip of the iceberg. You ought to see how women in the 2^nd and 3^rd World on-line come after men in North America, the UK and Germany.

Soooo much more can b said about his behavior and personality but that would take a lot me thump typing on my iPhone

You may sweat the details all you want, but if you have to go that far to justify this, something is definitely wrong.

Ultimately, your issue here, Alyssa, is that you're not going to have enough information, even if you skype or even if he visits on occasion. So these doubt are not going to go away. I see women on here a lot try and bury them or make excuses for them, but they are still there.

I understand how you feel, but I don't think you love this man, I think you were more scared of losing him and got annoyed with him talking to other women and yeah, it wears you down, especially if you're not used to it. That's what it's SUPPOSED to do. That's how they make the sell. Most of the time, it doesn't happen overnight, it's a process.

But you need more than just persistence from a man to have true love. Face it: you've got nothing in common. Surprised? He's from Algeria and I'll bet for his own "better or worse" you're not getting the whole truth. That's why you are looking this stuff up on-line and are writing on here mulling this over.

And who in their right mind would blame you? Just look at all the lies, scams and fraud that comes and goes with this.

This encounter is a waste of your time, will not be what you expect and could cost you a lot of money and heartache in the future. He seems to be running this like a sales pitch because his tactics are classic textbook ones that those other pervs didn't have clue one about---if they did, they wouldn't have been turned away so easily.

The fact that you two fight on-line----let me assure you that it will only get worse. On-line communication only gives you a fraction of what you'd get in real life.

Also, a lot of people who use on-line dating are mentally ill, have some kind of social disorder or unresolved problem or are not in the best situation for a healthy relationship even if they think they are---or they simply do not understand the creeps who are out there and the risks. The first time I was solicited for on-line sex, I was 14. So, you never really know who you are talking to unless you can meet them on a regular basis. Even then, people get the wool pulled over them. It's happened to me and a lot of guys, not to mention the other women on this site.

There's also no end to scammers and liars because the internet is not as well regulated and enforced as other media (this kind of stuff has happened over long-distance phone) and it gives them more people to reach easier and faster.

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