To Bec's

Submitted by RLT (United States), Jul 15, 2013 at 00:19

Hi Bec's - So nice to hear back from you. I agree - outside of this forum - many do not understand the dynamic's of a relationship/marriage to a Muslim man. I did try to explain bit's and pieces (when asked) - to close family and friends, but because they did not understand their culture, lifesytle or their character in general, it deemed itself - pointless. So with that being said - I too, am VERY grateful for the - "Daniel Pipes" - who allows us to share our stories, emotions and knowledge from what we have personally experienced with Muslim men.

You had asked 'where' I lived while in Egypt. I was in Cairo - in a filthy rotten dirty run down flat with no windows, little running water, no wash machine, nothing but a small living area with curtains as doors. I was held there with he and his crazed Mother for over 3 months - I was allowed out 8 times in total and it was ONLY at night. I never did understand the logic behind that - and he would never give me any answers. I asked him several times of which he just ignored me. On another occasion when I simply asked why he wouldn't let me out just to get some fresh air - he screamed at me and said..." What - do you think I am keeping you here for ransom"? ...and then he laughed in such an evil manner it sent chills up my spine. Bec's this was NOT the man I spoke to for over two years on Skype, nor was it the man that I met for the first time when I was in Egypt the year prior. That man was ever so kind, so loving, so accommodating - but when I returned to see him again 6 months later - and actually LIVED with him with a URFI contract of marriage -THAT'S- when everything changed. To him -he OWNED me - I was HIS wife, his SLAVE - and I would would be submissive at all times whether I liked it or not!

As you and I know Bec's - this IS ISLAM - and women are regarded as nothing but baby making machines and slaves to their men. Naturally - I knew this was NOT going to work for me..EVER! I figured out rather quickly that he did NOT love me, but only wanted to control me. In Islam - it's all about SHAME and HONOR - and NOT about love. If they think you are looking at another man - then they feel you are shaming them in front of other Muslim males and then we are regarded as whores. Bec's - we know how dysfuntional and irrational that is - but - it is not to them - as this is normal for them in their culture and certainly a character flaw that most all Muslim men have. One can thank their prophet Mohammad for that - who through their Qu'ran has taught them more about control and abuse to the unbelievers and nothing about love and respect. My EGY man, could speak the most elegant words of love - but he had NO actions to back his words.

The rituals of washing down their flat EVERYDAY with salt for fear of black magic was unbelievable - this happend every day - all day! If I didn't step into the toilet with my 'right' foot,- I was screamed at (HAREM) - If I crossed my legs while eating - I was screamed at (HAREM) - If I accidently left the toilet seat up - I was screamed at - because to them "EVIL' will escape if you do - (HAREM) If I dare use tissue in the toilet - I was once again - screamed at - (HAREM). Toilet paper was OUT of the question - Ugh! Their prophet taught them to be paranoid about everything - black magic and the evil eye - to be on the look-out because everyone is working a curse on them. Ohhh Bec's ~~~~ the list is forever endless! It's all about rituals in Islam! 1.2.3 this - 1.2.3 that....utter craziness! Needless to say - upon returning to the states - I wanted to literally lean down and kiss the ground I walked on! I was never so happy to leave Egypt and return to the USA!!!

Like you Bec's - I wanted to believe our relationship was based on everlasting love - after all - that is what they tell you - and how eloquently they do so! But - it's NOT love when they cannot respect your mind, your heart and especially -YOU- the person who God created you to be. - - then it's about love - but only about NEED! .... And - - Muslim men are VERY needy - and extremely selfish and self centered. Some might argue that is not the case with Muslim men - but I guarantee you once they live with them in a Muslim male dominated country - they too, will understand what you and I - and - the many other's that know all to well.

Bec's - I know you are hurting right now and this is normal. The great thing about you is that you have a BIG heart - although it is wounded right now - it will heal in time Bec's - and when it does - your heart, mind and spirit will be that much stronger and much much wiser. So please - do NOT call yourself foolish or stupid - you have nothing to be embarrassed about or ashamed of - we are all HUMAN - and it's only natural to want to be loved and to give love - Sometimes, it works out great and sometimes it doesn't - but that's OK - as this is life. You are young Bec's with an engaging and captivating personality that will certainly allow for your another relatioship down the road - a realtionship that will carry more meaning based on TRUE love - - so - for now - it's important that you focus on YOU - and what your plans are for a future - - - Lock the door from your past Bec's - as I did - I never even got any real closure Bec's - I just shut the door and locked it - because I KNEW that it wasn't love between Mr. Egy and I...and I especially KNEW had I stayed it would have only gotten WORSE - Most importantly I KNEW that I deserved to be HAPPY - and so do YOU sweet Bec's!

Please stay in touch, I want to know how you are doing - If you would like to chat via Skype - please feel free to look me up at - - - - > Jeweler34866

Much Love and hope to hear from you soon!

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