Response to British Citizen Wanting to Move to Morocco

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Jun 22, 2013 at 20:38

Sister in Abraham:

Welcome and thank you for sharing.

There are some real concerns you need to be thinking about.

Most importantly, when did he tell you that he loves you? I had a woman once tell me she loved me in the second e-mail. If that's what happened, you need to move on.

Zahra, I don't really think that you can truly a love a person without actually meeting them or signifcantly interacting with them and that the internet and phone do not develop true love feelings nearly as well as being in person.

Asking if you got back safely and all of the pillow talk about happiness and all---that's how all these encounters get going---both the good and the bad.

I think if you can find an opportunity spend more time with him in person in Morocco, that would be acceptable in your case, as long as you feel safe. If you don't, then don't do this at all. Trust your feminine instincts. God gave you them for a reasons, and the main one I'm sure is to identify male nonsense. And please be warned, you may NOT find what you ultimately expect.

It's probably safe to say, Zahra, that being both Pakistani and Muslim as well as not having a huge age difference helps your plan more than it would hurt you, but you also have to be aware that things like a VISA and money have no odor, as the old saying goes. That means some of these scammers will hurt anyone and everyone to get what they want.

And the young age, while similar for you both, does concern me because a lack of relationship experience.

And I'm not convinced that the wrinkle of him wanting you to move there completely rules out a scam, but he doesn't have to be a VISA scammer for this to not work out.

My concern with that, Zahra, is how much relationship experience have you had. If you haven't had any, that's significant because I don't know that you are old enough or knowledgeable enough to know what could happen in a situation like this. Meeting someone on holiday in a foreign country can be a recipe for disappointment, even disaster if you've got the wrong guy.

Ultimately, there really is no way that this can be a risk-free adventure for you. All relationships involve some measure of risk.

But I would also say that if you are feeling rushed into marriage, it's time to leave and move on, because that is a classic sign that something is wrong.

And even though you met him on holiday, your communication has been long distance. So it's not surprising to me that you are on here and are not sure. I don't know that you ever will be sure by having a distance relationship.

So again, if you have an opportunity to go to Morocco (obviously, don't stay with him, find your own accommodations and the like) for an extended period if nothing else just get a feel for the country before considering a move, I don't see a big deal with this provided you pay attention to travel warnings and information provided by the Home Office.

If its too expensive or too much of a burden on either of you to do this before marriage, then I don't think this relationship or getting married to him is not a good idea.

Finally, please don't think that he'll be the only nice guy who comes along. There are plenty out there. So don't feel like this is your last option, and please carefully consider the questions Lina has posed.

At the very least, Zahra, slow this down, give yourself more time and see about spending some time over in Morocco. If he cannot accommodate that, something is wrong.

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