To Isis, Fifi, Straight talking luigi

Submitted by Layla (Ireland), Jun 17, 2013 at 22:20

Im married to an Egyptian, and i will tell you all why i searched for information on the net re egyptian men.

The absolute truth is, that i searched because i simply wanted to make a fully informed decision, I was "warned" by a friend about arabs and muslims..her warning was based on a movie.. "not without my daughter!" I became paranoid, but not because of anything he did or said personally. The stereotyping made me a bit cautious. Im irish also, and at the risk of sounding stereotypical about my own culture lol, irish women can be quite hard and suspicious.

My research progressed and i decided to conduct a series of tests for my husband.. not out of suspicion related to any indications from his personality, but , just because i felt it was necessary. I went into self preservation mode!!

My research benefited me, and i recommend that anyone considering entering into this type of relationship, be informed.. Its not wrong to want to be informed and it does not indicate a problem. As a matter of fact its a good indication that you have your head screwed on properly

I met my husband online by the way quite a few years ago but it wasnt on purpose, it was a chance meeting.. i didnt even know what msn was.. It was on a game in fb and i gave him very little attention.. He told me why he pursued me years later.. He said was simply attracted to my profile pic mainly because of my eyes.. I loved playing this facebook game and refused to speak to him for three months. I spoke to him in the end because i was quite attracted to him also.

I added him to msn .. Our chats were mostly platonic.. After about a year, i was the one who told him that i was beginning to have feelings for him, but told him that i wasnt sure what these feelings were as we hadnt met yet. I had kind of brushed it off believing that it was the intensity of being online etc. He told me also that he had interest, but it wasnt until a few months later that we decided to meet..

I travelled to Egypt, and we hit it off straight away. i was watching everything.. he was a softie and so very kind and considerate and soft spoken.. not only to me but to others around him..He loved to go to play table tennis with an old man and his grandson and spend time talking to him..Anyone who crosses my husbands path likes him.. We went on safaris tours and he would share his food with strangers who were on the safari tours also. He acted like a gentleman and never asked me for anything..

He never tried anything with me. We used the time to get to know each other a little more personally.. He then started to make trips to visit me in Ireland. He had asked me for engagement, but being from the west and considering engagement was huge thing here, i told him i wasnt prepared to make an engagement from anything less than quite a few face to face meetings.. He agreed to what i requested and visited me alot till i was happy to agree to teh engagement. It took two years !! You can meet someone online, but u wont get the full feel of a persons personality unless you meet quite alot.. You may think you know him but ur mind can kind of "form" a personality based on his talking etc.. So be wary of that.. Before meeting my husband, even though i had feelings for him, and had a small idea of what he was like, i didnt know the extent of his personality.. He was a little shyer than i thought, softer than i thought.. More awkward than i thought.. he wasnt too confident either.. I was so nervous when i met him face to face at first that i told him i needed to go to bed at 7 pm in the evening and retired to my room.. . He was the one nervous the next morning when he came to get me for breakfast.. I still rem how his hands shook with the nerves...

We both feel embarrassment about telling others we met online because the relationship is instantly judged.. but i no longer care...I didnt fall for him because of his appearance. In the beginning i cared for him because i liked the ideals and his mindset but ultimately in the end, i fell in Love with him because of his personality. I knew he was a good man and it took me a long time to discover him and to know him well enough.

We are married now and expecting a baby ! he has changed my life. I was terrified to learn to drive and he coaxed me gently into learning and bought me a car.. He looks after me financially but also is emotionally very reliable. Early in my pregnancy, he took me on a week away.. we went on small boat trip.. I was vomiting the whole way out and the whole way back.. he never left my side..

He is a wonderful man and years on, im glad i made the decision i made.. .

People can pretend they love you, but they cant keep up the pretence over a long period of time.. if they are faking their personality the real one will show through eventually.. treat ur "long distance relationship" as u wud a relationship here.. dont marry on first meeting. its not a good idea..

To FiFI.. ive heard of an Irish woman married to a morroccan in my area and they too are extremely happy.. They have a baby and Its easy to see that he really loves her..

Sraight talk luigi.. i see you give alot of valid advice . its just sometimes things are not so clear cut. Warn those u feel need warning, before entering marriage.. but recognise that your words of warning will do more harm than good after marriage.. its too late then for warnings anyway.. and if women come on here stating how happy they are, believe them, cos its true.. I assure you, that even though im on here, i couldnt have asked for a better husband..

Im just here to help.. my husband told me that sometimes he feels upset that people instantly think he is a scammer because he is a "foreigner" and feels he has constantly something to prove. the poor guy had a lot to prove.. He went through series of tests from me, judgement from others which is ongoing, and got treated like he was a nothing when in the embassy applying for the visa Im here because these scammers are the reason for my husbands suffering and he doesnt deserve it.. and i want them caught ..

---

Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".