Controlling Men, Revenge, Playmate

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), May 28, 2013 at 00:29

Hi Danniah

It's not clear to me if you are still in a relationship with this man, but the way in which your write this concerns me.

Frankly, it does sound like this is driving you crazy, and I have to ask why you would be with someone who does those things to you? Obviously, you're not seeing through rosy glasses and you seem to know very well what is going on.

Before I continue, I want to point that most relationships involve interpersonal power allocation and struggles. That comes naturally. But what you are suggesting goes beyond that.

I would strongly advise against any woman on here trying to get even with their former or even current partner. I know if it were "women" scamming First World men, I would be telling them it could even become a safety issue.

If the relationship sounds bad, and believe me, most of the ones on here are including the situation you described, Danniah, then it's time to move on.

I understand the need for closure or if you want to scold them, but we've also had posts where at least one other person was suggesting using the scammer/liar or whomever to tote oneself around in a tourist fashion.

Danniah, that concerns me because a lot of women on here don't have the strength for that kind of adventure. Many of them struggle to just get out of the situation and I suspect in a lot of cases they don't listen completely if at all to the good advice on here, or their man comes traipsing back 6 months later with flowers and an apology and that's all she needs.

Or what could happen is that the woman would get overwhelmed, emotionally backed into a corner; a perfect situation for the man to exploit and get her to like him again.

It doesn't surprise me that you or other women see the men discussed on here as children. I mean, what do you expect when women who are 45-60 are dating foreigners in their late 20s/early 30s.

See, Danniah, I don't think a lot of the women on here are not looking for party time and playmates. A lot of ladies are confused, depressed, recently divorced and/or simply are not used to being alone again. They want a life partner and feel betrayed by men in their country, culture, local area or whatever. In many cases, we can't blame them for feeling that way.

I understand that you are upset and hurt, and that's okay, Danniah, really it is. But I've been there before too with women, and I just think that these silly games are a waste of time. You deserve so much better.

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