About sweet talking

Submitted by Lilia (Russia), May 14, 2013 at 11:27

Hi! Layla. I replied to your message on yahoo. Did you get it?

Answer to the post:

I'm not a victim of a scum. But my algerian french friend whom I dated briefly and met online used a lot of sweet words and put a lot of effort to gain my trust. He made sure to talk to me every day. He acted very smooth and knew what to do as the scummer would do. I really hope this will be useful for some women. I think that somehow this men guess what women want to hear. They want women to trust them, so they pretend that they care about them.

The main thing that got me hooked is emotional attachment. From very beginning the guy acted like he was concerned about me. At the time when I started to talk to him I was very depressed. He would ask me how I feel. Why I feel sad. Told me that he doesn't want me to be sad. He would ask me: Why are you so stressed? What happened? He said that he is very upset that I don't want to talk to him. I freaked out at the beginning. But one time when I felt really bad I started to talk to him more openly. He even came up with his own sad love story, how long time ago he loved girl he went to a trip for work for 4 months, when he came back she was pregnant not from him and lied that it was his baby. But he knew it wasn't true. He thought he could forgive her, but he couldn't so he left her. An she tried to get him back but he refused to see her. And he said:" I dont think it was bad, its life. This experiences make us stronger.

And after it I didn't lose trust on people, there is nothing bad in trusting. You should trust. There are always good and bad people. Why you are so closed?" So I went for it not thinking about the main "red flag": this is the person I barely know. Why on Earth this guy, who lived far away from me and to whom I talked on skype sometimes would be so concerned about my feelings on the first place. He obviously would have bunch of problems to think about instead of it. The answer is: He did it to gain my trust and manipulate, to make me dedicated to him emotionally.

So after I went to USA as tourist and met him, I fell in love really fast. But it was just a fling with romantic evenings and nothing more. Anyway for me it felt like a beginning of something, thanks for brainwashing.

His empathy was proven very fake some time after I came back from my trip. I remember I got very sick. I had a fever for 6 days. When I got ill he messaged me. I told him that I have a fewer for several days,don't feel well and worry about it. The next day he didnt message me to ask me how I feel. I called him by myself. He talked to me for 1 minute, then told me "Im sorry, my friend is calling, I will call you back" and he didn't call back. I called him again. The phone was switched off.

So at one point he is caring nice person, but some time later he is all cold.

Its like one big game full of lies. I guess that he got used to act like that with girls. It didn't mean much for him, and he obviously didn't care about other persons feelings.

I think that this men are enjoying making up lies and think it's fun. It comes natural from them and they lie even when its not necessary. They even believe what they say themselves.

One of my friends got messages on her facebook from Pakistanian guy. It were looooooooong love letters describing in every detail this guy's feelings. She thought it's very funny, we guessed how he could came up with all of that, where did he read that.

To my opinion, its better not to mess with muslim men, especially online if you don't have a nerve.

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