Algerian Man, English Woman, Children, Muslim

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Mar 18, 2013 at 20:20

Penelope:

Thanks for sharing.

To answer your first question, people who have good stories will not spend lots of time talking about it (or seeking key relationship advice) on-line. They are too busy with each other.

I think the advice given Lina is sound, and those are the questions you need to be asking yourself.

As far as him not using you, well, I suppose anytime a citizen dates a non-citizen it's something that should at least cross your mind, and I'd be more wary about that if your relationship was on-line; the more on-line, the more I'd be concerned because you loose the advantage in communication. I am convinced that men are much more confident in distance relationships, especially when they seek to manipulate and control.

On the issue of children, I suspect this man will ultimately yield to his family. I think you both need to sit down and have a serious discussion about it, and it may even help to get even brief relationship counseling, but I think in the end that he is a religious man with strong family ties.

That's not a good/bad judgement, it's just the way it ends up being a lot of the time, Penelope.

I think it's good that you at least admit this could be a problem, and it seems like you have reasonable stance. But I think you need to make it clear to him that a decision to raise your kids needs to between you and him, without significant input from his family. This ultimately comes down to the two of you, and I wouldn't be so hasty as to just say "well, then we won't have kids". If you have to make such extreme compromises, I can't see that as good in your relationship.

But meanwhile, I think you need to make your stance on this crystal clear to him, ask yourself (and him) about the questions Lina noted and go from there.

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