Penelope, I shall respond if I may

Submitted by sara (United States), Mar 8, 2013 at 17:39

Penelope, Here are the red flags I see from your story:

1. He is 'fairly strict about his religion'- what does that mean? I would assume that will have an eventual impact on: your dress, your behavior, your freedom of opinion/expressions, your children, etc.

2. He is close with his mother and aunt and his male relatives are rigid. This will only lead to trouble. They dont mind him marrying a Christian, it is encouraged in Islam, but only in order to convert them to Islam. You will not find his family accepting of his marrying a Christian who remains a Christian (not to mention raising a child non-Muslim), and his closeness to his family ensures that he will listen to them eventually. Otherwise would mean choosing between you, and them...

Raising children as Muslim is very likely utterly non-negotiable and nothing you can say or do can change that. If that is an issue for you (and it should be so), then I would give this some serious thought. Certainly voice your concern,

So I would say, its just a matter of time before troubles start, given the circumstances you describe. Even if he himself is sincere, his ties and obligations to his family and his religious practices will impact him, and therefore, you. If you can discuss these things with him in total openness and honesty, that is a good sign as you should be able to feel completely free and safe in a relationship. If not, then there is your red flag number 3...

Good luck to you.

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