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Thank you Isis

Reader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men
in response to reader comment: To Nourshehane

Submitted by Nourshehane (United States), Feb 18, 2013 at 20:36

Thank you so much Isis, your words are very comforting. you're right, he's gone beyond the limits with me & i've probably tolerated more of his whining & complaining than any other person would have. I sat patiently, listened & tried giving him the benefit of the doubt. But i am a bleeding heart. It would have just felt wrong to cut him off right away- tho the first time i did- he called me continuously (late at night), texted me asking 'why why why did u delete me?'- he was practically having a breakdown. He said he 'cried bad' and even sent me a picture of himself crying (which didn't look all that convincing). Red flags right there- seemed like a desperate ploy for attention. At the time i took it to be sincere, figured he was just ultra sensitive and i felt so guilty, so i took him back. We worked things out. But problems started up again just as surely as I forgave him.

He went back to his old behavior; his constant doting on me seemed to wane, he called me less and less, then switched to texts more. In the way beginning he would text me every morning or afternoon to wish me a good day & send me a sweet message. Then he would try and call me during an off hour at work, but even that stopped too. I was lucky if he called me late at night when he 'supposedly got back from work and took a late dinner'. But he would often tell me that he had nothing to eat, and that he was too tired to even talk on the phone b/c he worked so hard (riiight...the old 'work' excuse). and it was just one sob story after another. Of course i tried to console him, but nothing was ever good enough. Then came the complaints that he had no money. In a way i was putting up with abuse by listening to his tirades. But i hoped that by being the compassionate one, he would turn around and see that; or seem truly grateful.

But to be honest i don't think he is. He claims at times that i am his 'great and true friend here', he is so lucky to have me and bla bla bla....but i think he says this to every female friend he has (and who knows if he's led them to believe they are more than that.)

Too many unknowns. This one's gonna die a slow death, i know it. But i hope it happens sooner rather than later, because i'm really wanting to cut him off. Was thinking of blocking him from facebook & blocking his number from my cell. But i'm worried he'll try and reach me thru other means and make me feel bad all over again. But this is what he always does- he only ever gives me an explanation AFTER the fact; after i get angry or finally confront him. He says things which so conveniently paint him as the innocent victim, and makes me feel like some horrible, untrusting person who jumped to conclusions. and this gets me every time. I understand it looks pretty obvious that this is a sham, it's just hard b/c whenever he calls me or leaves me a message, i hear his sweet happy voice telling me how much he loves me & saying cute things in that adorable French/Moroccan accent, and then i think to myself; maybe i am just being paranoid....

Anyway, will keep you guys posted, I really appreciate all your input :)

Submitting....

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Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".

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