UAE Emirati Man, Foreign Relationship

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Jan 31, 2013 at 21:15

Dear Angelica:

What you have just told me means is not enough for a good marriage with this man. He seems to be letting you know in advance what he expects and what you should expect as his wife, and that is not going to change.

I can see why you would respect him and even find him charming, but I also want to say it may have something to do with the fact that your experiences with Western/First World have been lousy or that such men have no clue how to talk to women, which is an entirely different discussion.

Marrying this man would be a mistake, because you two just do not seem right for each other. It sounds like he wants a fairly solid Muslim lifestyle, even if he doesn't say it directly, Angelica, he is telling you is at least something and that is probably just the tip of the iceberg.

A marriage with him would probably mean a lot less freedom on your part, which you aren't willing to give up, and besides, you're not even clear about how you feel about him, because even with what he is telling you, you don't fully trust him or at least the situation, which is understandable.

What religious men will often do is hide their true nature until after marriage or until they know they have the girls heart in their backpocket out of fear of losing the girl.

Not every relationship on here is necessarily a scam and not never Muslim man is bad. In some cases, Angelica, the relationship just doesn't work out or is not a good fit, and that is the case here.

I understand the desire you have of wanting a man in your life and starting a family. That's normal, and given the attitude of some Western men, well, I can see why you are thinking about it even with these reservations,

But Angelica, we are not talking about you both not having the same taste in food or having the same favourite colour. The issues you mentioned are serious and a religious Muslim man, even one who has premarital sex from to time, will take marriage seriously unlike many of your Western counterparts.

I hope you understand that this is really not a good fit for you and if you do marry him it would be out of fear of not finding someone else and that is just very irrational.

I suspect (speaking as a man myself) that he will expect you to accept yourself as a good housewife who will stick to the house, raise kids, do chores and dress conservatively.

Since really you don't want that, it's time to move on from him. I promise that in the long run you will be happier with someone else who shares your views on marriage and someone you are not afraid of and that you can trust.

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