Comments on International relationships

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Sep 24, 2012 at 01:19

Welcome and thanks for sharing

This site has over 10,000 comments specifically on the subject you are asking about it, and I would encourage you to take a look at some of the testimonies.

In general, international dating between what are commonly called First World nations and the rest of the world is neck-deep in all kinds of scandals.

With the notable exception of Craig's list, my own investigation and experience leads me to believe that it is just as dangerous if not more so for men from the First World to engage in this than women.

I once had a woman from Suriname ask to meet me in the mountains of Southern Mexico, which is a politically unstable region. I've also talked to "women" on-line who I thought for certain were men.

This is only the tip of the iceberg.

People from other countries may have very elaborate planning involved in order to gain entry to the USA for any number of reasons.

This behaviour isn't exclusive to Moroccan or Muslim men. Women do it as do Christians and if you read on here you'll find that people of every single race in the USA have been targeted for sham marriages.

Scamming knows no bounds when it comes to national origin, culture, religion, gender ect.

The plans are often elaborate and those looking to scam have one virtue that serves them well:

They are patient and will months, even years in order to get to citizenship. Even if you go out of your way to make your spouse feel welcome and find contacts over here who can relate to that person via religion or national origin, they can still turn on you. I did read about a man who married a Russian woman, and even went out made contact with a nearby Russian community for her benefit. But all she did was play along for three years until she learned English well enough and was able to get a driver's license.

They rely on your emotional investment and your willingness to go along with it.

The most obvious scams will make the host spouse feel rushed or pressured into following through with the marriage with the idea of "well, it's too late to turn back now". People who are under pressure or spontaneous are more likely to buy into things. That's actually a sales trick.

I think the key thing to look for in your marriage is any behavior that sets off your feminine instincts. Over the years, I've found that a lot of women simply ignore their inner voices of rationality based on their partner's physical characteristics or religion.

Now, I can certainly understand the allure of the tall, dark and handsome foreign guy who may be a lot younger, but if you start making excuses for him that you would never let a male peer in your own country get away with, you could have a big problem.

You might also want to examine your relationship:

Did you meet him in person or on-line?

Did you meet on holiday or vacation (This is important because vacationers are often targeted for scams because they are availabe in person, probably in a more relaxed mood and typically don't have their kids with them)?

Did you feel rushed/pressured into the marriage?

Have you caught him lying/cheating/stealing?

These are the types of questions and considerations that are widely applicable here. The gender, the country, the religion can vary, but the basic premise and themes are all the same.

Finally, please feel free to come on here as often as you need to.

---

Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".