Advice on immigrant husband---immigration, Muslim, marriage, cheating

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Aug 11, 2012 at 23:28

Hello vArikat

To quote a priest I know of, it would be trite to say "well, these things happen."

I can understand if you are frustrated and disappointed.

Be assured that a lot of times Americans (both men and women) don't see the truth until they get here.

What you need to do is schedule a meeting with ICE and gather whatever evidence you can that he is cheating. Save those webpages on dating sites he's on, make notes, etc. I would also consult with an immigration lawyer.

As far as the commentary about defense posts, well, they are on here and I doubt they'll be of much help. Over the years, some folks have watched this forum like hawks trying to bait myself and others into saying bad things about Islam or Muslim men so they can feel better about their own relationships or they wait for me to make a mistake of some kind. I hope that doesn't sound too harsh or vindictive but that has been my observation over the years. I would hypothesize that some posters may even have had their partner cheating on them at the very same time they are on here defending the cheater.

In your case, clearly something is wrong if your husband is on other dating sites. People who are married or engaged and spend time on dating sites for whatever reason---even to "make friends"---are often outcasts on those sites and I'm sure are regarded by many users (well, unless we are talking about adult dating sites) with suspicion and may even be confronted outright when they learn the truth.

My immediate concern here is that if he finds out that you know, you can expect all the usual tricks---the I'm sorries, the crying, and who knows maybe even flowers and gifts. He might even get angry and try and shift the blame on you.

I've seen it go both ways.

Just remember he's the one on dating sites not mention stealing from Uncle Sam with that tax scam.

So it's probably best to do some consulting with ICE and with a lawyer before you spill the beans to him.

I do understand that this could incur some expense on your part, but I also want you to know that depending on what state you are in and what the speciifc situation for your marriage and his immigration is, you could end up being responsible for him financially even after a divorce.

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