On-line Relationship Defenses

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Apr 29, 2012 at 16:47

There is so much bashing going on here.

I can understand why it might be frustrating for you and there will be comments that you do not agree with or that may even be insulting. Regarding the latter, a lot of women on here have been through some pretty difficult relationships and marriages in their own home country and then feel they have to cross an ocean or two to find someone and then the stories on here happen.

I would encourage you to put yourself in their shoes and try to understand where they are coming from.

I'm sure I don't have to tell you that some women who have their hearts broken think all men henceforth evil for a time. What you see on here about generalizations about Western or Middle Eastern men is probably and almost always a take off of that. It doesn't mean that it's right, but it is viable explanation.

Look, my guess is that everyone of the hurt women here read all kinds of stories like this before got married... and married anyway. Now they are broken-hearted... but please,

Each situation is different; it's important to go on a case-by-case basis. Often the lesson is learned the hard way.

don't bash someone for trying to explain that there are some happy marriages...

People who are in happy marriages do not need to defend them to total strangers on other continents. Relationship defense is something that teenagers on myspace and facebook do, not adults who are in healthy relationships, particularly marriages for that matter.

I've been reading through all of these posts, and have been "biting my tongue" so to speak, until you started bashing the happy woman.

ALL of the posts?

That is waaayyyyy to general.

Defending relationships, especially in the confrontational tone with which you are projecting, is a sign of problem, either with yourself or with a relationship you are in. That is not "bashing". That is reporting an observable fact.

If what you have is great, why even bother mentioning it? Why not enjoy it instead of tell us about it on here?

I want to point to the similarity in all of stories, and wish I could convince you... not all Muslim men, or Egyptian men are like that.

I've indicated this several times over the last several years, including in the other post where you said I was wrong. You're not going to convince any woman that "not all men are bad" who has just been scammed or had her heart broken---or both. It's poor timing.

Most of you got your men from the internet or tourist industry. The tourist industry in ANY country produces Gigolos and low lifes looking for fun at the tourists expense.

I've previously noted that. Unfortunately, it is ignored too often and for trivial reasons.

I'm not intending to judge anyone here, just defending the happily married woman... and she was not gloating, merely trying to say it's not religion, or culture you've been hurt by... it's the individual men or even more likely, it's men in tourism or trolling the internet.

Those are sufficient observations. Sometimes the relationships just don't work out because the cultural differences are too great. But have you noticed how Muslim women never come on here and defend their relationships or their men?

If things progress naturally on this blog, there will always be more bad stories than good on here because people who are in good relationships do not need to discuss and defend them at endless length.

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