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About polygamy, temporary marriages and divorce according to Sharia Law (non Muslim women dating Muslim men should read it)

Reader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men

Submitted by A very concerned reader, Jan 29, 2021 at 04:27

It's been a long time since I wanted to write about Islamic marriages. So now that I have time to do it, I wanted to do this for you, regular lovely commenters, and also for the new readers who may be wondering if their Muslim boyfriends may be for real as well as their marriage proposals. There I go...

It's a well-known fact that Muslim men can take up to 4 women. And no, it doesn't matter if the first wife states on her nikah contract that she doesn't accept her husband to take a second, third or fourth wife. He can. He has all the rights over it because it's stated on the Qur'an, Surah An-Nisa 4:3. However, it remarks that he must be fair with them all at all levels. Ahead on the Qur'an, it is said that no man can be fair even if he tries hard (An-Nisa 4:129), but also no man remembers this ayah for his own convenience. Furthermore, how to know what's fair and what not if it's the man who has all the rights to make her wife obedient by several punishment? The beating is the last resort but it's allowed (An-Nisa 4:34). So, whatever the women want and whatever the man says at the beginning of the relationship, a woman must know that if he wants other wives at some point, he will have them. The only thing that a woman can do is asking her husband to initiate the divorce. If he does so, she could keep her dowry. If not, the woman will have to apply for a khula divorce initiated by her in the Sharia Court, but the reasons must be contemplated under the Islamic Sharia law. If the motives are not within the Islamic reasons, she will not be able to get it.

In the case of wanting divorce for polygamy reasons, it will only be considered within the Islamic terms if she has stated in her nikah contract that she won't accept polygamy. Notice here that asking for a divorce should be a right for every woman, not only in this case. Moreover, if she hadn't stated that she will not accept a second wife, in the contract she will not be able to leave the marriage easily. If the religious divorce is finally granted, the woman will be able to leave. But in ALL CASES, she will have to give back to her husband the dowry that he paid for her. Only if the husband asks for talaq (marriage initiated by man), she will take the dowry with her. Does this sound fair for women?

In Western countries, these women are fighting as well to get their divorces without success because religious marriages are taken only by Sharia courts. So if they're able to get the divorce, the women will leave having NOTHING. Of course, the children will be "given" to the father, because it's his right enforced by Sharia.

Well, in short, the wives don't get anything and they lose their kids, That's why, although Islam allows divorce and is shown to us like a "progressive" religion, a few Muslim women get divorced. They are left in most of the cases with nothing after X years in a marriage where they, more than likely, haven't worked, and depend financially on their husbands. Also, Muslim divorced women are considered a shame. They will have it very hard to remarry if not impossible. They're returned to their parents home. Imagine if the divorced is a Western woman. No Muslim man respects a Non Muslim divorced woman as the Muslim ladies on this board have claimed repeatedly lately. Thank you for that.

If we're talking about South Asian Muslims, it's even worse, because women must take a kind of "dowry" to their husband's family in the form of household appliances and other stuff. Women also will be "transferred" from their family home to live in their husbands' family house, and will take care of their in-laws until they die.

In the meantime, these men can take not only up to 3 more wives but multiple temporary wives. What's this? Well, in Islam, muta'h marriages were criticised at some poin because they stated a period of time already fixed, although they're still performed by Shia Muslims. Misyar is accepted by most schools and practiced by Sunni Muslims. This temporary marriage is nowadays often used by those men who are abroad and have sexual needs so, instead of having sex unlawfully, haram, they were allowed in order to get married to women for a limited time only, but not set when signing nikah. Yes, sounds like an advertisement of a fast food meal... This marriage is performed in many other contexts, but it is happening now very often in Western countries when the men are on temporary visas and manage to convert their girlfriends. If they get them pregnant, their gain, because this fact enables them to become citizens. Once they get it, they leave these girls, come back to their Islamic countries and bring back with their wives and children because most of the time, they have already a family at home. The religious marriages are rarely registered, so for the Western countries migration offices, these men are single when in fact, they're not. If they're not married, these men will receive very attractive marriage proposals or will be happily accepted by their fiancées waiting for them to thrive in the West. Only then, the women accept the men. Smart girls. You can imagine the dramas they leave behind. Sometimes, they want to keep the family that they have created in the Western country, whether is a secret marriage or their families are aware of it because are behind the scam. But most of the times, these marriages are kept secret from the men's families because if the family is very strict, they will not allow their sons to marry a Western girl.

A common phenomenon in Islamic countries is for the man to take as a first wife the one their mothers choose for them, and eventually, he will have multiple affairs to satisfy their needs that, because of their oppressive system, are usually very high to be satisfied with only one woman.

In Islam, men must be the providers in all senses (women, never give them money because goes against their religion!) And if the woman worked, which many men will not see with good eyes obviously because they don't want their women to be independent and have a life away from the home, her salary should be for her only. But in temporary marriages, the women has to refused her rights to be maintained financially, to have a house, even to live together. Does this sound like having a mistress or promoting prostitution? Yes, you're right. The kids that may be conceived in these marriages will be financially dependent on their mothers. Once the men get tired, they can leave easily and no child support can be asked by the mothers. No strings attached. As you can see, they have all fixed. And the Qur'an allows these facts all the time.

If you're dating a Muslim man and asks you to marry him, don't feel special. Marriage is not for them as it's conceived for us. It means actually nothing. And no woman is special for them. They can replace them at their whim whenever they want, combine them and collect them like dolls. In regards to the age, if you have money and live in a Western country, your "age is just a number". They love this line to conquer their victims. Study Sharia and women's rights on every marriage. You'll see that a wife worth half than a man from the moment she's born. Don't let them to deceive you.

Although it's a bit complicated, and long!, I hope this has clarified, at least a little, this topic.

Thank you for reading...

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Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".

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