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TIPS AND ADVICE egyptian men

Reader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men
in response to reader comment: Egyptian man- questions about him

Submitted by Layla (Ireland), Apr 25, 2013 at 14:44

Hello i decided to post as a back up for Nourshehane's Questions. Her Questions are indeed questions you should consider.. I am not here to judge anyones situation .or tell you mine.. I just want to give you a few pointers !!

IF he has asked you for money , forget him

An honourable Egyptian man,will never ask a woman for money. It is an ego thing as well as religious.From his ego point of view, he would fear others thinking him worthless having to scrounge off his wife etc They fancy themselves as providers, with the ability to take care of his wife and family. From a religious point of view, he is not allowed to ask his wife for money. It is forbidden in Islam. If she offers it, this is ok. otherwise its haram.

My plane tickets and expenses were all paid for when i travelled to Egypt. When we were living apart, he gave me an ATM card on his current account to access funds. I had my own money but this was irrelevant, he gave me an allowance for myself every month.

When with him i paid for nothing. I was bought shoes and clothes and food . Sometimes when you use toilets in Egypt there are attendants working on tips basis. You will be even given a few egyptian pounds for the tip for the attendant. When i say he will pay i mean he will pay ALL your expenses ALLLLLLLLLLLLL..

When discussing religion, it is important to note that practicing Muslim men are subject to rules in the treatment of women. THe one above about money.. he cant ask you for any.

It is not allowed to hurt your wife in Islam. Im sure it happens as it does in the west but mark my words, you are not allowed to beat the crap out of her or even slap her face. I know i will face crap over saying this for sure.. but there are rules.. strict ones in this issue. i suggest u research..

but the disciplinary action in Islam is extremely light.. sooooo light.. its like a tap !! i wish so much that i could demonstrate. but i cant.. Only a tap is allowed and this was referenced in the Quran, purely so there would be no injustice and because the Quran references every subject..even sensitive ones.

im sure we have all lightly tapped our best buddys or our spouses, this is the light tap i mean.. as if u tap ur buddy and say .. hey mate.. look at that!! and even before this tap occurs.. other courses of actions must be exhausted.. I dont want to turn this into a religious debate and im not here to preach Islam so ill move on.. Im just stating facts here to protect you from those who are not really men.. but cowards..Islam is not always to be blamed for the acts of some Muslims.

It can be normal for a Muslim man to approach a woman for marriage quite quickly by way of engagement.. Engagement in Egypt is not like engagement in the west. Engagement, for PRACTICING muslims, is a time where couples get to know each other. it can be quite common for engagements to be broken. If i can explain it a better way.. Engagement in the west is like a promise, you are nearly sure you would marry, in Egypt it is like an good intention only.

Lets touch upon sexual relations and discuss realistically.. There is no point telling you he wont kiss you. This might happen even to the best of men. (lets be realistic) He may not even kiss you . but dont think he is bad cos he kissed you.. Kissing is not allowed either, but sometimes there are small moments of weaknesses and it does happen even with Arab women ( i know this as fact), but it will be a small peck, not a passionate kiss and it will be stolen quickly. He wud never allow anyone to catch you.. lol . He will NEVER sleep with you . In Egypt, besides the religious aspect, he would destroy a womans life. Sex is a huge deal in Egypt, and it will be in his mentality to be terrified to do anything wrong, not only relgiously, but to a woman. I hope you understand what im trying to get across here. He shouldnt treat you any different, even if you are western and he knows western women are more open, he will see you as he sees women by his cultural standards and he will instinctively want to protect you from bad judgement of others.

The children WILL be muslim. If he says that he doesnt care about this, he is not a practicing Muslim, and you should not judge him by the religious virtue he claims to have.

He will offer you a dowry or it is perfectly plausible for you to ask for one.

he wont approach an egyptian woman for marriage without money, and a good job etc . so he shouldnt approach you without meeting this criteria either.

He will come to your country to visit you or should at least try.. Sometimes visit visas are hard to get, but, if he has the funds required to marry in the first place, and the good job required to marry in the first place, he can apply.. I refused to sponsor my husband for a visit visa. I gave him a letter confirming i knew him but i refused to give bank statements showing details of finances. If he couldnt come here on his own merits, what was the point in continuing. (visa test) I

As a test.. Ask him to marry you islamically only in YOUR country ( i do not recommend doing that in reality, just as a test). He will panic if its a visa he is after.. Islamic marriages is not legally recognised in some western countries due to issues with polygamy. its hard to get a visa with no "legal" marriage. If he is content just to marry you islamically and not interested much in the legal side of things, chances are that its not a visa he is after.. cos as we all know, legal marriage is nearly a requirement of bringing someone to ur country.

URFI marriage is a shame in Egypt. FACT ..If he asks you to do that. he is only interested in sex. He is not serious about marriage with you. Ask him to marry you URFI if you want.. just to see what he says.. Pretend you are ignorant about the fact its a shame.. pretend you know nothing.. and then act shocked when he tells you noway !! I just hope he tells u NOWAY !!

Ive seen some posts about women not being allowed to go out when they are in Egypt . It is true that he will be a little weird about letting you, but let me put some perspective on this for you. You are his responsibility when you are in Egypt, and for a foreign woman walking around on her own, it can be quite weird..Stares and even comments. Sometimes when an egyptian man wont let you out alone, he will be in protective mode. He genuinely wont mean any harm.You will b in foreign country not knowing your way around, the traffic, language and the mentality of people etc You may go into a shop for example and be seriously overcharged.. . In saying that, if you want to go out, he will go with you, he wont say no to actually going out.,he will just be weird about you going out alone.Egyptian men are notoriously protective of women, When on the street, he will walk on the traffic side. He will be watching everything around like a hawk.

IF you met him online, chances are he could be sweet talking another woman at the same time hahahah. Do your research. You will probably think im a bit nuts after giving you the following tips but i dont care. If it makes you a little more knowledgable about the character of the man ur dealing with.. you can regard me as nuts all you wish hahahaha

there is an app that actually works on the internet.. Go to www.ydetector.com. You type in a yahoo mail address and see if he is online chatting on the yahoo messanger application. This only works for yahoo addresses but it does work. If you dont have his yahoo address.. con it out of him. if u normally talk on msn or skype for example, you can always say ur msn wont open and ask him if he has got yahoo !! from there.. when u r talking on skype.. u can check and see if his yahoo is open. It will show even if he is invisable. If you have a user name for skype or msn, for example egyptianman@hotmail.com, try the same user name on a yahoo mail .. for example egyptianman@yahoo.com... !! Men with multiple mail addresses hang themselves eventually.. For example.. if u are familiar with them circulation emails.. like jokes etc.. Look at all the addresses he sent it to.. chances are he sent it to his other email so he could send the joke to his contacts on his other email address also.. keep ur eyes open and watch everything !! I know its extreme but im afraid online, anything goes!!!

Go to www.pipl.com.. and type his emails.. you might come up with something.. do a search in inverted commas on google "username" or "username@hotmail.com" you would never know what you might come up with.

Do image searches on Google. You can google "how to do an image search" to find out how. I dont care what anyone says.. If a man has accounts all over the place, hes a pro in sweet talking women..... doing this helps u to know more about his character.

Family - There are many lovely lovely families in Egypt. I love my husbands mother and father and i would die if anything happened to them and i really feel loved by them. They are a normal family and as a normal family, they had concerns in the beginning when my husband informed them that he was going to approach me for marriage. This is normal as there are a lot of stereotypes about the western culture also. But the egyptian man can convince them. Personally, i feel that a family having reservations about someone from a diff culture is a normal reaction, as my family had reservations about him too at the start. I think that its a good sign because it means that everything is serious!!! There was an open and honest discussion and i was always kept in the loop. Be aware, family are hugely involved in each others lives in egypt. if you have had no interaction with them forget the man !! He is not serious. Be yourself. Flaws and all ..Dont pretend when you meet family.. I promise you, they will love you if you are honest. Honesty is not a common trait in Egypt so it is appreciated and respected. Be respectful and have manners. Thats all you need !!!!

If you are alot older than him forget it.. There is no man in egypt who wud take a wife twice his age. Be realistic.. if you were 25 and you met a 45 year old. would you want him really??? Although Mohammed married an older woman, and it can be considered sunnah.. realistically speaking, men dont want that.. Young men like that want families.. they are born to make make babies and have a family.. It is their objective in life.. THEY WANT TO BE FATHERS. Babies are expected from marriage.Thats it.!! If u are infertile, he will most likely take a second wife also .. Im sorry !!

A Decent Egyptian man who loves you will do anything to make you feel good. He wont allow anything to come between you at all under any circumstances.. If there is something causing friction between you and he can fix it .. he will, within reason. Sometimes an egyptian man can be stubborn and awkward and this will show through.. but believe me, if he thinks your relationship is in even a tiny bit of trouble, he will sort it. Through all his stubbornness and awkwardness, you will be his everything as with anyone who is in love, if he feels he would lose you, he would panic..

Egyptian men get a hard time.. and believe me.. some of the idiots deserve the reputation they get.. but not all.. If you find a good one and BOTH of you are prepared to make some compromises (not just you) he will make a great husband.. You WILL have to make changes if you want to be married and so will he. For example i gave up alcohol and pork, and he will take part in the non religious aspect of christmas with my family ( the dinner etc) and i put up a tree..

I Just want you to have the savvy to know the difference.To sort the bad apples from the bad. If you are going to be sucked in, give yourself a chance !! Get urself sucked in under the right conditions lol . Realistically speaking, no one can really make a judgement on your egyptian man, because they dont know him.. NO one here can tell you whether he is fake or genuine. Only you can determine that.. but be aware there are alooooot of scam artists.. so protect yourself.All the above applies in determining his character and are not stereotypes.. I have given u facts..and nourshehanes questions absolutely have to be considered..

I hope i wont get ate !!

Submitting....

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