Submitted by paul dunn (United Kingdom), Nov 28, 2008 at 17:42
To make it easy for Muslims, I have collected actual explanations (ie, justifications or excuses) from the Internet for the bombings, murders, riots, hate and other violence done (allegedly done!) by Muslims and have adapted them to serve as guidelines or rules to explain these things. I am listing these here to help Muslims. In fact, when confronted with any comment they don't like, Muslims can use one or more of these "rules" to explain any issues that non-Muslims may have with Islam. This keeps them from having to think or even read their own writings! If a Muslim follows these simple steps, I guarantee that he/she will win any debate with the darn infidels.
1. Accuse accuse the person of lying and ignorance. Tell the person to read "authentic" Muslim websites and texts. Say that critics of Islam are "so-called" experts. Say that once a person "learns" about the "real" Islam, he/she will understand how beautiful and peaceful it is.
2. Accuse the person of racism or islamophobia (This is one of the best tactics!). Say they are "filled with hate" (this works really well with Liberals!).
Restrict your arguments to a specific subject (How Muslims are persecuted and misunderstood). Generalize a lot. Never suggest that a person examine both sides of the issue (that is, compare arguments from anti-Islamic sites with those from Muslims experts). Never refer to the hate and violence Muslims do. Say that the actions of Muslims have nothing to do with Islam.
3. Say that the problem is that Muslims today are not practicing the "Original Islam" of Mohammed and the glorious era of the 'Four Righteous Caliphs' that followed him (Do not mention the hate and violence that Mohammad preached and practiced and do not mention that 3 out of the 4 so-called Righteous Caliphs were murdered by Muslims in a fifty year orgy of conquest, greed, violence and rivalry that ended at battle of Kerbala - called the Ashura - with Muslims fighting Muslims and the heads of Mohammad's grandson and even infant great-grandson and 70 others being carried in bags as trophies by the victorious Muslim army). Tell them that Islam is really peaceful!
4. Say that any verse from the Koran that portrays Islam negatively is "out of context".
Tell them it doesn't really mean what it says. Also, insist that any tradition that says that Mohammad did very bad things is "weak" or forged, or that it has no isnad (chain of narration) even if it has a long isnad and Muslims constantly quote from this same source.
5. Tell people that any 'nice' or 'peaceful' (or earlier) verse in the Koran is valid for everywhere and all time. Any 'kill' and 'hate' verse has limited application and can only be understood by an expert or in relation to another verse 56 pages away.
6. Accuse Christianity and other religions as being "just as bad" (mention the Crusades). Say that Islam is the fastest growing religion in the world. Say that Islam is the fastest growing religion on Mars too, and the rest of the universe.
7. Claim that Muslims are injustly persecuted (never mention 1200 years of jihad against infidels, the treatment of non-Muslims in Islamic societies or current events). Mention the classical era when Islamic societies led the world in science, medicine and philosophy (Do not mention this was 700 years ago and that much of it was based upon ancient Greek works or influenced by the hated 'Joos' living in those countries)
8. Explain that jihad means "inner struggle" (like a diet plan or giving up smoking!) and not "holy war". Tell them that Islam says fighting can only be in self-defense. If they ask about all those raids, explain that Mohammad went on 26 self-defense expeditions, captured a lot of self-defense loot and self-defense slaves and killed a lot of people in self-defence in the early morning and night self-defense attacks. He even let his men rape women in self-defense at Banu-Mustaliq. If they question that last statement, suggest that maybe the women accused Mohammad's men of being 'gay' and they had to prove themselves. (Note: It may be wise to work more on this answer!)
9. Blame all current problems in Islamic societies on (choose one or more...) the Jews, Christians, the Crusades, the USA, Atheism, Israel, Colonialism, Hollywood, Bush, the Pope, Vatican, Capitalism, racism, poverty, sexuality, discrimination, translations, the media, the Neocons, Right-wing radio talk shows, Communism, the Romans, women, Zionists, culture, Imperialism, islamophobes, "people filled with hate", stereotypes, facism, the Cold War, the War on Terror, ignorance, education, lack of education, misguided education, despair, lack of hope, the suffering of the Palestinian people, bad hair, cartoons, teddy bears and Bugs Bunny. Stress that Muslims are innocent victims of circumstances, always.
10. If the discussion is about women, say that Islam "protects and honors" women. Say that "Islam has given women all her rights". Point out the immorality in Western culture. Say that most of the people that convert to Islam are women. (Never talk about what the Quran and hadith say about women, except for 4 specific verses and do not mention that Mohammad himself said women are 'deficient in intelligence' and beat his wife). If they talk about the status of Muslim women everywhere, say that it is because Muslims do not follow Islam. Tell them it is "cultural".
11. Say that a small minority of extremists have hijacked Islam, and they are not 'real' Muslims. Explain that just because a person says the shahada (profession of faith), observes the 5 pillars of Islam, goes to the mosque every Friday, has memorized half of the Quran, wears a beard, and is named 'Mohammud' - this does not mean that he is a 'real' Muslim. (Suggest that the terrorist, who knows, may really be a Scientologist, a Presbyterian, a Rotarian or even a vile Jew pretending to be a Muslim). Oh yes, if Muslims do hate and violence, say that they are being 'used' and 'manipulated' by (see list in #9 of candidates to blame for manipulating innocent Muslims).
12. If the person brings up issues relating to words and actions of Mohammad, say that you are offended. Say that we should not apply contemporary standards of morality and conduct to the teachings of the 'eternal' Quran and the actions of Islam's prophet. Tell them "everybody" did "it" back then. Say that Mohammad was "a mercy for all mankind". If he/she continues to ask about those deeds, make a few threats. Another possible idea is to ask the person to draw a picture of Mohammad on an old piece of paper, then say you are offended and attack the vile kafir infidel!
13. Say that it (whatever) is because they (whoever) don't understand the original message in Arabic. Tell them you can't understand the real meaning of Islam and the Quran unless you speak Arabic. Another good idea is to use a lot of cute Arabic words to confuse the person. It also makes the Muslim seem smarter and/or an expert on Islam.
14. Quote the verse "who kills a single person, it is as if he killed all of mankind" to prove how peaceful Islam really is (Do not mention that the phrase is incomplete and you have omitted the first five words).
15. Say that any problems in the Muslim world are because the US, Europe and the West support brutal, corrupt Arab regimes (Do not mention that all regimes in Muslim Middle East are undemocractic, brutal and corrupt). Say that Muslims are being used (or exploited or deceived) by the evil colonialists and/or imperialists. This is a good time to bring up Uncle Benny and say he was created in a CIA lab and so the so-called radical Islamists are Americas' fault (Use the name "Bin Laden" which is what infidels call him).
16. Another good idea is to blame anything and everything on the "Enemies of Islam". Take the Ashura, for example. When Hussain, the grandson of Mohammad was killed on the battle field, Muslim site after site says that he was martyred while fighting the "Enemies of Islam" instead of mentioning that it was actually a rival Muslim army and a battle for power and treasure. This event was the climax and start of the great Sunni-Shiite feud and one of the reasons why these two Muslim groups are still killing each other 1350 years later. Even so both sides blame it on the "Enemies of Islam".
17. When something bad happens say it is a "conspiracy" against Islam. For example, when an old British teacher working in Sudan lets her school children name a teddy bear "Mohammed" the Sudanese Imams immediately called for her death and said it was all part of a Western conspiracy against Islam. As found on Muslim sites, Palestinian children are dying of poisoning because the "yahood" (Jews) have a conspired to sell clothing with rat poison infused into the dye. It is a well-known fact that infidels stay up all night, every night, just plotting against Islam. Oh yes, when using the word "conspiracy" also include the words "Zionist" or "Jewish" to emphasize the cunning and evil nature of the plot.
18. Say that Western societies are not doing enough to adapt to Muslims and to accomodate their customs and beliefs. Tell them that if Non-Muslims are really "tolerant" then will recognize the unique cultural issues of Muslims and respect their customs even if these are contrary to the host countries traditions and laws. Explain that a true multicultural society must recognize the right of Muslims to have their own laws (sharia) and control of their own lives and even of the people and neighborhoods they live in. Tell them that things like female genital mutilation, honor killings and forced marriages are expressions of this cultural heritage and are of no concern to infidels. This is necessary, as the Archbishop of Canterbury says, because Muslims often do not feel "comfortable" with the laws of the country they live in.
19. Blame it on the weather. I mean 'good' weather. The Reuters news agency tells us, regarding the February 2008 "Youth" riots in Denmark, that "Police could give no reason (for the riots), but said that unusually mild weather and the closure of schools for a winter break might have contributed.
20. Once again, remember that Muslims "are the best of people" and Mohammad is a "Mercy for all mankind". Keep thinking this. Never doubt; never question. If there is an issue it must be understood in light of these two sacred and eternal truths. Don't let facts get in the way of feelings. If something appears to be wrong or bad, it can only be a work of evil infidels or a misunderstanding. There must be an explanation even if it is weird, really weird. The problem cannot be Islam's fault so it must be the work of (insert name of evil non-Muslim group here). Explain that the rules of conduct that Muslims demand for others do not apply to Islam, because it is "special".
21. If all else fails, assume a zombie-like attitude and start saying the Qanoot-e-Naazilah prayer in a low, intense voice (in Arabic!). Hiss a little between lines. Let the infidel know you a more than just a little crazy. If you have a knife take it out and start testing the blade with your thumb. Roll your eyes, foam at the mouth (twitching is good, too!). Stand up suddenly and start yelling "Allah Akhbar". Do this ten times as loud as possible. You have won the argument! Note that all of the above explanations -- except the last two points -- are based upon actual answers and justifications from Muslim sites and web commentaries.
Excuses. PS: I was going to call this page "Excuses" but I already have one with that name (about the murder of Asma bint Marwan), so I decided to call it "Blame" instead. You know, blame it on.... Here is a link to the page called "Excuses" about the death of a woman named Asma bint Marwan and the the role of the prophet Mohammad in this tragic event. As a general rule, Muslims prefer to not discuss anything about Islam that is difficult to explain. This is not just Islam, but human nature. However, sometimes we find Islamic sites that address these difficult issues. I have searched the Internet to find out how Muslims justify this event.
The questions are: Did it happen? Why? Can a person criticize Mohammad? Did she deserve to die in the middle of the night while nursing a child? Was this story a forgery? Was it made up by Jews to descredit Islam? This page is about the many explanations and excuses that one finds on Muslim websites for the tragic death of this woman. I think I found over 20 different stories to explain the sad event.
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